How Not To Build A Character in Dungeons and Dragons 1: Rogue

How not to build a rogue. Don't make them a 1950's style house spouse whose partner taught them how to be a lockpick to get back into their secluded house when they're locked out. Don't make their partner teach them how to use a knife to defend themseleves when they are out supporting them. Don't have the partner die and have the 1950's style house wife fully take on the rogue responsibilities after their partner's death to go adventuring. Don't make their catchphrase be "Don'tch'a know?" in a midwestern Minnesotan/Wisconsin accent. Don't make them be a baker and make pies, cupcakes and such.

And if you're like me, don't have them lose an NPC and a PC back to back or they might just take a level in barbarian, all the while still being peppy and shit like that. And don't call them going into a rage "Going pastry. It's like going postal but in the kitchen."

(This is my active character in DND)