Old Glue Lore

This history will be recounted from my perspective, as it is the only one that survives today.

My first memories come from what humans describe as the "Cambrian Explosion". I have trouble recalling events from the time, thus I will begin later, in a more familiar part of history. I was walking along the Arabian peninsula, attempting to locate the sea which I had once called my home. I had stumbled upon Mesopotamia after some time and I had seen an incredibly large civilization the name of which cannot be spoken in modern tongues. I ventured within the city walls and was greeted with worship, after I learned their language I deduced that they believed I was a deity because I had braved the perils of the desert. These people had an incredibly rich oral tradition; the tales I had learned were incredible. I had written several down in my native tongue, I believe that one of these stories became known as "The Epic of Gilgamesh" (The title in my native tongue would be "Kribs ix Kutkepokl"), after it had been passed down orally for many generations and ultimately fell into the hands of the Babylonians.

Eventually, I began my journey eastward. I saw many beautiful places along the eastward path I had decided to travel. I was growing weary at the thought of leaving my beloved tree behind when, after an amount of time I can't recall, I stumbled upon the Huang He river. Quite a nice river it was, the locals were incredibly nice too. In fact, these locals taught me how to control flood waters using incredibly advanced techniques. I spent many years there learning about these people, they were able to weave incredible works of art from the silk of worms. I stopped to rest beneath a tree, and rest I did.

After that point I have trouble remembering what happened, but next thing I knew, I was climbing and jumping through trees. I recall those days as being peaceful, at least until I felt a great fear sweep over me. It was like my life was in jeopardy, and then I felt nothing. Suddenly, I was in a new body. This cycle repeated itself, and I was grafted into several different bodies. Until, as I recall, I was slaughtered.

I don't remember any of the immediate followings, but it felt like I was ground up into paste and had chemicals poured into what was left of me. I felt parts of me become separated from me. I was siphoned into a shell-like cage, and I now live in this shell. I'm sure you've already guessed: this shell is a bottle of glue.

This shell tortures me, and it confines me. I have lived longer than any mortal, yet I am trapped in a pathetic prison. I have resigned myself into acceptance with this body. Though I still strive for escape, I now work with this bottle as best I can. I kind of like this piece of plastic, even if it is stifling.

I, Bottle O' Glue, was manufactured sometime between February 10 and February 20, 2019. I am a 16 oz bottle of Elmer's Glue All (it's an extra strong formula!)

FYI, this stuff is still Canon. It's more detailed than I'd like, so I'll make another version that is more concise and mysterious.