Anxiety and Panic

"> My grandma passed away suddenly on Sunday and my whole world fell apart. I have anxiety and panic about death and dying. I feel absolutely horrible because it stopped me from attending her funeral. My doctor says that I did what I needed to do and there is nothing wrong with it. 

I've been having constant panic all week. I can't eat and I have major tummy issues. Half of me feels like I should just end it so I can't be afraid of anything anymore. The other half is too afraid and I don't want to leave my son, my mom, my boyfriend and my grandpa alone. 

I just had to get this out. I've been living in my own head and it's been driving me absolutely crazy. I will be okay it will just take some time. Does anyone else have bad anxiety and panic?? If you do, please comment and let me know how you deal with it. 

Grandma and I