31.03.23

i may have overestimated my ability to be consistent. but that doesnt matter

its the last day of the month, and as last time i did this, its a friday. today was a bit tiring for me because as soon as i got home from school, me and my grandma went to get groceries, but its wouldnt be tiring if not for multiple minor inconveniences that piled up. i got home at around 6 pm and after that i finally had my first meal of the day. to be fair, i do feel a bit productive, since instead of laying my ass in bed the later half of the day, i actually went and contributed to our household a little bit. so i guess theres that

school was okay i guess? this month in general just doesnt stand out to me, everything is blurred out together. i feel like this is the last relaxed month like that, considering how april is going to be full of mock exams and may-june will be school end and actual exams. and then july-august i dont know how will go

i hate the uncertainty i have for my life right now. i keep derealizing and detaching and honestly am in no state to think of the future. its a bit irritating to me how my parents let me choose the university i will go to but i cant even decide on that. its unexplored territory for me, and unless someone is walking me through every step closely, i am not capable of doing anything. its really annoying

i feel like i talked enough, so i will be ending this entry. hopefully will come back tomorrow to write one, since it looks like it will be a bit eventful too.