LO LO LO | POEM

i shed my skin

and grow new wings 

in hopes my insecurities will die with it 

these growing pains contort my spine

and pollute my mind 

with memories that have yet to happen

still,

i hate everyone who's ever crossed me, 

still,

i hate anyone who ever will

i curse my future enemies 

and nurse my future heart aches 

like they're an oozing, infected wound

.

i detach

.

you find yourself, accompanied, 

in white, ice cold rooms,

talk to anyone, they said, 

talk to anyone,

they said, 

apologize when they see nothing in your eyes, 

they slither into your space,

smelling of incense, ash, and bitter, hot molasses, 

with a forked tongue they read the tales of who you are 

& who you'll become,

they say: 

you hear stories about yourself,

as if you're a passing ghost, 

catch your reflection on hotel mirrors

. . you've yet to recognize who you are

you sought to find your face in aphrodite's pond

& now that you've found it, 

you can't bring yourself to kiss the reflection 

you are no good,

rotten fruit, 

sPOILED to the core, 

you bruise and ooze under touch, 

no one will ever want you 

& the surface of the water doesn't break when you jump, 

rotten fruit, 

spoiled to the core, 

you bruise, 

you ooze, 

mold grows on your skin 

and obstructs your vision 

you only see through touch 

& no one knows how to handle you delicately enough

rotten fruit, 

spoilEd to the core, 

you only attract flies & maggots 

all they do is take and take 

& you let them take pieces of you 

because it fulfills them 

and it gives YOU purpose 

food in a starving insect's tummy 

you are their saving grace 

and if divine presence had teeth 

you'd let it take a chunk out of you, too 

- eli 

(vampyrX on poetizer 🤘🏾)