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I thought Haven preferred her over me, even though I love them more because she's prettier. I completely forgot that I'm not just ugly. I also suck. Feeling rejected over your appearance is the height of self-flattery. Why would I be turned down for my looks when there's so much more of me to dislike?
We are talking right now. It's giving me a stomach ache. Friendship is too stressful; we've been friends for two years, but every time we talk, I feel like all my qualities are on trial for the first time. I felt less nervous when we first met. As we've become closer, I've grown more and more insecure.
At some points, I thought I was nice, but I've been bad too, so every time I'm nice, if I ever am, it's not really me. I remember being funny, but I'm not being funny now, so maybe I got it wrong. Do I even have any good qualities? Why do they even like me at all? I'm honoured that they are willing to talk to me. They are so cool. The girl they like is so cool too.
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chad thundercawk
yea but u still ugly
diogenes
you sound pretty stuck in your head. I don't blame you, I'm stuck in mine too. It's hard to understand why people care about us, when what we see in the mirror doesn't align with what they tell us they see. And trust me, if they tell us they see what we see, they are lying. We are incapable of seeing ourself, so we need to believe we are something survivable. You have reasons why people talk to you, that is a fact. You have redeeming qualities. If you maybe ask them about it, maybe you can see it yourself too. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies, no matter how bad we actually are.