life

random thoughts 

Hate that I've resolved to sex work to paying my debts

I feel so trapped

Observed and analysed that i am bad luck

I am a burden

I'm in the way

I miss knowing I was loved

I hate that I am so fucked now

I want to leave home but only if and when im stable

I dont know how to feel around family now that some trauma has gone but ive only hidden away to keep myself safe and although i dont have to do that anymore i dont know this feeling, i still feel uneasy at times, or breathless, like if im in a place in the house or touching or smelling something specific thatll trigger my trauma i feel like my chest is caving inside out.

I know i shouldn't complain I just dont know who i can talk to 

okay goodnight myself, hope tommorow is a better day :)