I want to start working out

I'm serious about it. I'm just antsy and have no outlet for my energy when I'm not flying, I'm usually just... Walking around in circles and sighing in frustration. That's no exaggeration. I walk around in my front yard for about an hour, stopping to look up whenever I hear a plane or helicopter passing by. 

Depending on how much I hate myself, I may attempt to join the Air Force in like 5 years (99% chance I won't). I dunno why. Brainwashing, maybe? I hate war, I hate how screwed up this country is, I know the military can be a scam. But also - they have cool planes. And I refuse to die before I can ride in a fighter jet at least once.

When I was younger, I wanted to be in the Air Force, but I couldn't because I was too wimpy and my health was pretty bad. I'm better now, so I want to actually exercise and get buff like how I was as a teenager. 

I used to do parkour and freerunning, it was some of the most fun I've had in my life besides being in flight school. I guess I'm really just yearning to live for the thrill. Sometimes I think that my ooga booga caveman brain takes control of me and clouds my better judgement all for the sake of an adrenaline rush. Whether that rush comes from something safe or dangerous, my brain doesn't seem to care.

Maybe that just comes from spending so many years bedridden from a condition that I couldn't control. I hate, hate, hate thinking about that. So many good years stolen from me in my prime. I've got a lot of catching up to do.

But, anyways, back on topic. I want to exercise. I will do it carefully, of course. It just feels amazing getting to see my muscles returning, and feeling myself move and get back up to how I used to be before I got sick! And now I actually can do it! I don't wanna waste another day.