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He's sooooo sorrrry he said yes on Friday, but he's rethought and, actually, he's not fucking ready to be in a relationship. But he'd looooooooooooooove to stay friends.
I'm not upset. Why would you think that?
..
Why couldn't he have just said no? Or asked for some time to think about it? Why did he say yes? If he wasn't sure?
Why can't my friend's ever fucking think about how I feel? Am I too quiet and in the background that they forget I'm there? That they forget I'm real?
Or maybe it's me. I'm the problem, always going along with whatever they want without a thought of what I want.
It's fine, I'm okay. Why would I be upset? How could this perfect porcelain doll be upset? No feelings, no thoughts, no opinions. The only difference between me and a doll is that a doll's pretty. All I do is sit in the background, since I'm never heard. I've given up on trying to join conversation in a meaningful way.
Before you worry, I'm not going to hurt myself or anything over this. Not because I don't want to, I'm just too much of a fucking pussy to go through with it. Plus, how could I possibly be that upset? I don't have the emotional capacity to do such a thing.
....
Bye.
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Ceres_the_interdimensional
You are not the problem!
I didn't explain well, i genuinely don't voice my opinions when it comes to like activities that we do together
Like I'll be like "yup yea that's fine" to literally anything my friends wanna do even if i don't particularly want to do whatever that thing is so i don't blame them for like not thinking about whether i want to do it or not
But thank you, you're very kind
by Keracen; ; Report
You're welcome, also while yes the not voicing opinions probably helped them forget, it's not a complete excuse, I just want you to know it's not nearly as much your fault as you seem to think
by Ceres_the_interdimensional; ; Report