The Healthy Masculinity Movement

Firstly, I think we get so focused on labeling "this is masculine and that is feminine." If we keep trying to make heads or tails of things, we'll end up forgetting that it's all a part of the same coin.

You can't understand what light is without first knowing darkness. Likewise, I don't think you can understand what being masculine is without first knowing femininity. You can point at a woman and say that she is different than a man. That's easy. The hard part is looking inside of you and understanding where the line is within you.

Basically, do what makes you happy and comfortable. But if you put other men down to validate your own sense of masculinity, the I would go as far to argue that you don't understand the nature of your own masculinity.

If you're searching for something, that implies something is lost, no? 

I would like to talk about tropes of masculinity:

1. Dominance. I believe dominance is a tool, not a way of living. You use this tool in the face of injustice, in the face of self defense. You use it when you need it. No one likes it when someone else is constantly trying to be dominant, especially in environments where it is unnecessary. Know when to use it, know when to save it. People will enjoy you a lot more. And remember: a lack of the portrayal of dominance is not the same as submission. It's still within you when not in use. Peter Parker is always Spider-Man

2. Success. There is no objective way to measure successful. Success if subjective. If you think being successful means having a lot of sex and making the most money, then that's okay. But it's dangerous to base your worth off of that. Once you get your money, then what? Once you have sex, then what? It's easy to fall into the trap of, "once this happens, then I will be happy. Once I get this thing, then I will be content." Once you get the thing, you'll probably find that it's not what you were hoping for in the end. A new toy will always end up an old toy eventually.

3. Control. The reason bamboo is so hard to break is because it bends. When someone tells you "That's not manly!" What's your response? The moment you fire back is the moment you've lost control. It may be paradoxical, but the moment you let go is the moment you'll find the most control. Let go of their comments. You know what your intentions are. Don't let other people control your thoughts and actions.

4. Logic over emotion. These are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I think these two concepts rely on each other. If you do not know how to evaluate your own emotions, how is it possible to make logical decisions? Is punching a wall out of rage a logical decision? I'd argue not. When you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can allow yourself to feel them and process them in order to make a clear headed and logical decision. It is ridiculous to say that men are not emotional. Emotions are important, there's a reason we evolved to have them.

5. Respect. A traditional man demands respect. This is a fallacy. You cannot demand respect. Respect is earned. To do this, one must be kind to others and respect others as well (It's a two way street). A prerequisite to this is empathy. A man requires empathy in order to respect the wishes of others. You can't break others down, you have to build others up. Who do you respect most: Someone who treats you like crap or someone who hypes you up? This is how you gain respect: By being empathetic to others, listening to them, and supporting them.

The idea of masculinity has been on my mind a lot and I believe we need to redefine it to help improve the world. I believe this will cause a greater sense of acceptance among others. By spreading healthy masculinity, I believe young men can have healthy male role models as opposed to alpha male frauds like Andrew Tate. I think this can help in a decline of misogyny as well.

But in order to help spread healthy masculinity, I think it's important to first stop discouraging toxic masculinity, but rather encourage healthy masculinity. This goes for all genders and sexes. Stop pointing fingers and alienating others. Instead, extend a gentle hand and encourage each other to be the best version of themselves. Let's all stop generalizing. Let's all accept others for who they are and welcome uniqueness in others.