Fireman please put out the fire you started in me

Do you not feel bad after sex? I mean, I'm a lot younger than you and you're just using me for sex. How do you not feel the emptiness after sex? Even if you're not like romantically attracted to me, doesn't loveless sex make you feel awful? I thought sex was supposed to feel good, a stress reliever, and an excuse to touch someone and be touched. You're my first but I fucked someone else and with him, I didn't feel used afterward (maybe once or twice but the majority of the time I felt good afterward). Why can't that be how I feel about you? You're making me feel crazy, it might just be the fact that you're the one who took my virginity but I feel so attached to you. But you only want me when I pull away.

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I put my clothes back on and I hate the way you're on your phone. You crack jokes and I smile but there's an aching in my chest and I avoid your gaze.

When you look at me it always feels as if you're not. I'm invisible, or a blurred face and muffled voice. Why can someone like you make me feel so fucking insane? I hate you and I hope you love me to death.