🥀

i got up, i got dressed and went out

i even did all of that school work that had been waiting for me, untouched for the longest time

 i sent you a message, did you see it?

did you toss it aside like you always did with me

or was it me always tossing it aside, just like you always said

i like to think you're wrong but how can i when all i can hear is your voice ringing in my head

like an alarm that won't go off

but is it my own alarm, the alarm ringing on my bedside table, telling me to wake up

sometimes i wish everything was just a dream, one long vivid dream

but would that mean everything was for nothing?

was it all for nothing?

all the tears, all the blood

all that pain.

was it all just my fault?

or something made up to defend yourself, to make yourself feel better for what you did

did it make you feel good?

hope it did because it sure wasn't for me

see you never

J

<3