A Story About Grits

I was 50 years old when I ran away from home for the first time, and I ran to Newport News, VA. I met some amazing people, had some awesome experiences, and enjoyed some of the most beautiful countryside I had ever encountered. I can honestly say I enjoyed my commute to work and back everyday, immensely! But, this is a story about grits.

Even though I considered myself a “southerner” up to that point, as it turns out, I was a poser! I had never been to a crawfish boil, had never had authentic gumbo, couldn’t stand the flavor of collard greens, and I had never had grits. That is until the day I walked into a Waffle House in Newport News, and when asked if I wanted grits with my breakfast, I replied, “No, thank you, I don’t like grits.” It was as if all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room, and a deadly silence settled over the restaurant.

Being new to the area, I assumed something horrible had just happened and I quickly looked around and came eye to eye with the cook. I will never forget the look of absolute horror on that mans’ face. He made me repeat myself, which I did with much less confidence, and it sounded more like a question. We stared eye to eye for a second that felt like all of an hour, and finally he said, “You ain’t ever had my grits”, while reaching for a bowl, still looking me right in my eye. The equivalent of “hold my beer”. Apparently, I was about to try me some grits.

They were good! He totally sold me on the grits and from that day on, I’d swing by there every now and then, he’d dish me up a cup to go, and hardly cried at all when I added butter and sugar to it. Between Newport News and Jackson, MS I kinda forgot about grits. I tried it from time to time, but I wasn’t impressed, until I walked into the Waffle House here in Ridgeland. Man, that woman put her foot in those grits! It was at this point that I learned about cheese grits, mmm-hmm, and I am changed forever. I don’t know what it is about Waffle House, but those folks know grits.

I like cheese grits so much, especially in a breakfast bowl, that I started experimenting with making my own grits, and if I say so myself, I’m a real close second. Given a little more time and tweaking, I’ll put mine up against both of theirs. So, I’m going to tell you my secret, because nobody does this that I can tell and it makes a difference. It’ll also give you some southern street cred.

First, don’t be buying any generic grits, for the love of all that’s holy. Some generic stuff is fine, but when it comes to grits, get a name brand. You’ll also need some butter, heavy whipping cream, salt and pepper, a glass of water, and the cheese of your choice. I like colby/jack or a mild cheddar best. This is the part where I tell you that if you’re watching your waistline or your blood pressure, you may want to keep it to small helpings. I have personally decided that, at this point, I’m never going to be a size five and at my age, I’m more concerned with leaving this earth full and happy.

Now that we have that out of the way, since I’m single, keep your comments to yourself, I use a small saucepan and no matter what I do, I always end up with more than enough for two meals. So, get your small saucepan and cover the bottom with your uncooked grits. I never worry that all the bottom is “covered”, I just throw a dash in there, and like I said, plenty. Add to that a teaspoon or so of real butter, and then add about an inch of heavy whipping cream on top of that and stir it all up. Next, I add two liberal pinches of pink salt and all the pepper my little heart desires, but you’ll have to figure these amounts based on your own taste.

Now, here’s the trick, turn your burner on fairly high, I go about “8” on the dial, and just let ‘er go. What’s going to happen is that heavy whipping cream and butter is going to burn a little and your grits will look kinda dried out. Actually, they’ll get a little scorched and that’s exactly what you want to happen. As soon as you see the cream and butter at the top edge around the pan looking burned, you’re going to want to spring into action!

Turn your burner down to about “6”, add another teaspoon of real butter and just enough water to once again cover the grits and stir until everything is smooth again. Let it cook down again, stirring every so often and adding more water as needed to keep it the consistency you want. And, unless these are instant grits, you animal, be prepared to be there for about 20 minutes or so.

Once the grits have softened up, you just have to get a feel for this by trial and error, and it’s the consistency you like, add a slice of the cheese of your choice, two if you really like cheese, keep stirring until the cheese has melted and then remove it from the heat.

I know it sounds crazy, but I swear, if you put a couple scrambled eggs and crumbled sausage on a scoop of that, you’ll be back to thank me. You can also throw on some bacon, crisp fried potatoes, onion, fried shrimp, whatever sounds good to you, because grits take on the flavor of whatever it’s cooked with, and this recipe gives it flavor that can be paired with dang near anything. And for those of you who can’t ever seem to get your homemade skillet gravy to taste like grandma’s, just scorch that grease and flour mixture before you add your milk.

If you get brave enough to try that, pop yourself some popcorn in the microwave and let that scorch up too. It’s my favorite way to eat it. Bon appetite!