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It has been over a year since I brushed my teeth. I consider personal hygiene a meaningless gesture in my situation. As a shut-in, I never see other people, so I don't have to look good and smell nice for anyone. I hate my body, no matter what it looks like. Working on my appearance only makes me feel worse because it forces me to focus on it more. I recognize its bad if my teeth rot and fall out, but I don't care.
It's not just a matter of indifference. In my experience, life tends to become easier the worse it gets because there are fewer possibilities, and you become more grateful for what you have left. I like contributing to the decay of my body. I live an entropic lifestyle because I want to be on the winning side. I've never fought back against bullies in my life. Why would I fight back against nature?
Recently I've been having trouble with not eating. The main problem is with my mouth. I usually have to end long fasts when my tongue is so dry it makes me constantly nauseous. It used to take 3 weeks to reach this point, but now it takes 5 days. I'm hoping that if I start brushing my teeth again, I'll be able to fast as long as I used to.
I thought not brushing my teeth was a choice, but I've realized it's become a phobia. The idea of a clean toothbrush, covered in soft sparkly white toothpaste inside my dirty mouth, scrubbing away all the bacteria, horrifies me. That gross biofilm has been with me for so long. Where does the dirt end, and where do I begin? I don't want to brush myself away together with the filth.
Comments
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irelandluvsGod
miss girly pop-
i support yu but, UR TEETH ROTTING AND YU DGAF?! i mean- pop off ig :D
sxwermommy
average serial experiments lain enjoyer (jokes aside brush ur teeth gang)
33nournours
brush them, i promise you will feel better after, also hope you are okay
XxEvie_EverlessxX
OH MY GOD???????
scenemo.mess666
maybe you could first try to just use the bristle then try to use toothpaste or instead of toothpaste use baking soda. and if you ever feel like taking care of yourself is too much i urge you to call a mental health professional or hotline. if you think it might benefit you can even go to a psych ward. some are horrible but some are great and can be a lot of help. Sorry if this is weird or polarizing, i hope your doing ok.
Thanks<3
by mark; ; Report
❥ idieh
its ok... now brush ur teeth
Voryn Dagoth
bruh....
Naomi
I think the taste of minty toothpaste is one of the beautiful things in life. I hope to meet you here at this point one day when your teeth are as shiny and beautiful as your life is going to be. <3
XD
by mark; ; Report
Kay Dwessie
I barely ever brush my teeth either because it is sensory hell and my unlovable autistic self doesn't wanna kiss any of these filthy humans anyway
Neri
considering your mental state as well as your physical, i think that maybe starting with something small might help. maybe if youre scared of "brushng yourself away with the filth", you could start with brushing your teeth without toothpaste. it'll be a good start since the brushing part on its own does most of the work. maybe it'll be easier on your mind with no toothpaste taste in your mouth afterwards too. either way, please try for your own physical healths sake. that is all anyone can ask you to do. if it doesnt go how you planned or doesnt go well, oh well, you've atleast tried <3
This is great advice. Thank you Neri
by mark; ; Report
of course! i wish you the best c:
by Neri; ; Report
Purgatory
Please do it
I'll try
by mark; ; Report
Izzzzzzzzzzzy
As an avid practitioner of a range of self-care mediums, I can assure you that your outlook is more harmful than you may thing. I can see where you're coming from with your idea that eliminating extrinsic possibilities will make life easier, but it comes at the cost of any intrinsic enjoyment you may find in life. In truth, you're not on the winning side of anything, you have quite literally surrendered to the world around you.
You're doing good by trying to pick yourself up this much, keep up the good work. I hope your state improves.
I hope it doesn't
by mark; ; Report
Gray
Not brushing your teeth can possibly lead to very serious health conditions
I didn't mean to imply that I think the only danger of not brushing my teeth is tooth problems. I'm aware it can lead to more severe stuff like oral cancer
by mark; ; Report
LuckyStarx33
the fuck is wrong with you
A psychologist said I have schizoid personality disorder
by mark; ; Report
uhh sorry man
by LuckyStarx33; ; Report
LMFAO
by angel ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶; ; Report