navel gazing & melancholia

There's something about social media (Twitter, Tumblr, Spacehey) that suddenly makes me want to start thinking about all the things wrong in my life, all of the shortcomings I feel I have, how lonely and weird and standoffish I've been IRL, complaining about the difficult things I'm going through, etc.

And that's barely scratching the surface.

Hell, I even made my status "here to sadpost" because that was my first impulse when making this account.

Maybe it's because I've continuously struggled to form and maintain friendships in my personal life and maybe it's normal to have people to vent and complain to (while also balancing it out with positive things).

In high school I basically used Tumblr as a void to shout into and often as a cry for help. In college I did the same with Twitter, but it only lasted a little while and it helped me process some grief I was experiencing at the end of my grandma's life.

Is it healthy to use social media like this? Is it better to shout into the void and allow your negativity to be stored in one place so that you can spare your loved ones from your incessant disappointment and frustration?

Obviously if you feel that you're a danger to yourself or others you should let a loved one know, but for the mundane or deeply existential shit? Idk

I'm a strong believer in energy and how you get back what you put out into the world. But we also deserve a place to let out the muck. (I guess that's what pen & paper are for, especially since you can rip it all up. Same goes for typing all the shit out and then deleting the document. Whatever works for you).

I'm not sure what I want this profile or blog to be yet. My personal life isn't interesting or important enough to share in a public blog. I want to post things that others can relate to.

And maybe posting these blogs will help me be more creative in my business.

Of course things will be from my own perspective and I'll be using my own experiences, but I want this to provide value to those reading it. I don't just want to marinate in my own self-pity. At least, not for no reason.

(Is this what it means to have Saturn/Moon conjunct in the 11th house??)

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