health anxiety rant

so i have an appointment on friday to see my dr and ask her again about being evalutated for ehlers danlos bc the last time i asked her she literally just said well i dont know amd moved on but my issues r getting hard to deal with again.a ll my joint pain and i can barely type on laptop rn. also found out the weird allergic reactions ivr had throughout my life that nobody could figure out could be related to that as well. part of me hopes it is eds so i have an answer because honestly im just so tired of dealing with all these issues for years and years of my life and doctors never being able to figure out what is wrong with me. all it means for me is that i have to keep figuring out my own solutions that never help lol.

if its not eds i think im still going to look into getting physical therapy for at the very least my elbows bc they dont hurt me very much but looking back ive literally never been able to do a pushup bc of the way they bend and my strength has suffered from this pretty hard bc i just took it as fact that i wouldnt be able to work them out the way i should be. pushups but also any arm curls or anything. would like to maybe look into for my knees and ankles as well but that depends on if it would cost me anything and if it does how much. i want to get finger splints as well to prevent the hypermobility and hopefully make it easier for me to do the things i enjoy, like typing on laptop for various things but also drawing, sewing, and just while im at work because i work the whole day with my hands. 

i just need a solution. im so sick of the pain and the other issues and NEVER having answers. all they tell me is that they cant find anything and that my lab results or imaging are good, and to take tylenol. if taking tylenol made my issues go away i wouldnt be here. 

at the point im at now i can barely stand for the 6 hours im at work and when i come home im in so much pain im basically out for the rest of the day and my legs will shake the entirre day afterwards. doesnt help that because of my previous surgeries my neck and back are very weak and cause me a lot of pain. i have to take breaks to be comfortable when im going outside the house or doing things i enjoy and it makes me so mad because im literally only 20.

this really sucks and my anxiety just keeps building and building waiting for friday to come around and the worry that shes just going to turn me away and not even think about the suggestion for more than 5 seconds like last time. if she does i might just look into changing my primary care doctor or going to a specialist (which i might have to do anyway) but man oh man am i just so so so tired of not getting taken seriously.