Nostalgia

What's good? Do people even read blogs anymore? 

Tiktok oibliterated my attention span.

I can't even believe that this site is ferreal! 

How the overwhelming nostalgia and weight of my age are hitting meeeee!

I remember being online every day, I didn't have friends and the ones I did have I isolated from- alternating between The Sims and Myspace.

Escapism is a warm, snug blanket.

With the state of my country- I hate even claiming such a selfish nationality- it's easy to slip into escapism as a welcome vacation from the Dystopia that has become America.

It's not like it's come out of nowhere. I've always felt that ever since what I'd like to call the Big Boom- development of apps, battle of Facebook and Myspace, and once Youtube and IG were turned to competitive brand deals- occurred our actual connections have disintegrated.

All the profiles I used to see on Myspace, VampireFreaks, and Youtube were relatable. It felt like I was reading/watching my friends or classmates' lives- authentically though.

It feels now that every post, every event, picture, and connection, is rooted in the need for "content" or "networking". I can't tell you the real friendships I have because I really feel it's all for clout or other selfish intents. Its like an endless race to the top, but is it really worth it to see the view of this crazy world from up there? Noone relate to you because the vast majority of us are drowning or barely hanging on, while the ones at the top watch it all crumble in their cushy situations where the real world can't hurt them.

Don't get me wrong- there are real folks out there, if you're reading this then I can tell you're one of them.

I just am sick of this NPC city lifestyle where it's business as usual while the world is literally disintegrating around us.

I crave and have craved since I was a teenager, the privilege that white folks get to just travel wherever without any fear of retaliation due to your skin color (sundown towns for example) and the ability to "live off the land/off the grid". Like I've been homeless three times in my life and it hurt to know that an old classmate of mine whos white became homeless and her Gofundme was met within a week, where my tv appearance-which was direct exploitation- newspaper article features and Gofundme's resulted in scrutiny and no monetary or community support AT ALL.

Its not even just a white people thing- just a matter of privilege and money. Like, my experience living a tiny house or a bus would be starkly different than a non-melanated being. I dunno. 
I don't even know if this makes any sense, I'm just allowing my stream of consciousness to flow.

Thanks for reading.

 Eat the Bourgouise, Revolt.