Writing attempt

Candy Cigarettes 

It’s always weird on a Monday morning. I get used to just… sitting there. I’ve got a stable home life, my family is supportive, and I’ve got no real issues. I don’t particularly have any close friends, I’ve got no hobbies, and I don’t do anything on weekends. Overall, I’m pretty boring.

So on a Monday morning, I pretend to be interesting. I smile as naturally as I can, make sure to bounce when I walk, and pick up my candy cigarettes. Smoke is a disgusting smell to me, but, overall, people think smoking is cool. So I have these sweets to make myself look cool. Nobody is ever fooled into thinking they’re real cigarettes, but sometimes it gets people to talk to me. It makes me interesting slightly less boring.

When I get into the college building, a girl I can’t completely remember the name of asks me how my weekend was, since I didn’t go to her party. I lie, as usual, and tell her how I went ice skating in a rink a bit away. As I’m telling the story (because that’s what it is) I see her eyes glaze over. She makes some sort of excuse about a friend calling her, and she darts away. My smile strains a little more. Sometimes she waits for me to finish telling her, but she didn’t today. That’s fine. I know I’m boring her.

The guy I’ve been trying to make friends with sits at the desk next to me, opposite the girl (Olivia?). I go to ask about his weekend, but he goes to ask the girl before I can even open my mouth. I try to join in on the conversation, but they completely ignore me. I absentmindedly bring a candy cigarette to my lips as I set the matchstick like box on the side of my desk. Olivia (?) comments on the fact that I don’t smoke or vape. I respond cheerfully, offering her one of my sweets. I notice her expression flicker slightly before she grins and declines. The other people on the table chuckle. I don’t know if they’re laughing at me, or their own conversation.

The tutor starts the morning presentation, then leaves us to do independent work. It’s an art course, so we get a lot of freedom. I ask the guy next to me what he’s doing for the project, loudly so he can’t pretend he doesn’t hear me. I get blanked as another guy a few seats down asks the same question I did. They start chatting about their projects, talking over my head. 

About half an hour into first period, Olivia asks everyone to choose one of three options she’s considering for her project. She asks everyone individually. She doesn’t ask me. I happily offer to add a tally, but she says no. She doesn’t give me a reason.

It continues like this the rest of the week. My tutor asks what I’m going to do for progression. I spin a thousand different stories about the different things I want to do, and they smile awkwardly. I leave with no concrete idea. It happens every time they ask.

It’s Saturday. I’m at home, and mum asks how my week has been. I say it’s been good. She believes me. I do nothing during the weekend.

It’s Monday morning. I pick up my candy cigarettes.