MARCH/17/2023

March 17th 2023 11:56 AM

Lyric: This is a love song for a girl who will never know it's about her

Mood: down 

Really not having a great time rn. Yesterday...kinda sucked. Kind of mad at Will. It's whatever. 

I have this thing where I just genuinely believe my problems will go away if I don't think about them. In my defense, sometimes they do! But sometimes they just get worse. Usually.

I wish life could just be easy. Just for a moment.

Anyway. I've been getting into Webtoon lately. Just the horror ones. The others look good but idk I just haven't had much interest in trying them. Horror Webtoons are just so creative. I love Everything Is Fine and Shag and Scoob. I used to be really obsessed with Melvina's Therapy when it was still going. I think the creator has a new Webtoon now that I might check out.

I also used to read Bastard when it came out. Which is insane to say. I was like...eleven years old reading that comic. I was probably around that age when I watched Moral Orel, too. I was a fuckin weird kid man.

I like horror movies but so few of them are actually scary. It's weird because horror is genuinely terrifying to me in comics and podcasts and such but movies just fall so flat somehow. 

Also, to be quite honest, I have a short attention span for non-horror webcomics (surprising, since I love regular comics) but if a webcomic has even the slightest promise of gore I'm in. I'll read 70 chapters if someone in the comments of chapter 1 said that chapter 70 is super gorey. Idk, I just like that shit. It's best when the comic is, overall, not super gore-filled but then every fifty chapters or something there's one good panel that you can stare at for a while and just. Feel what the characters are feelings.

I also found a Hannibal x Frasier crossover fan fiction and uhh...yeah I'm obsessed. It was so perfect. The Crane brothers idolizing Hannibal while simultaneously being incredibly jealous of him? Check. Hannibal being incredibly annoyed by the Crane brothers? Check. Hannibal having a brief fling with Lilith? Check. Hannibal falling head over heels for Marty (perhaps because of his similarities to Will)? CHECK. Marty wasn't interested but my god did I want them to get it on and then for Frasier to have to...deal with that. Hannibal got both Frasier's ex wife and his dad. Goddamn. Can you imagine that.

Anyway an old friend... is touring my college today. She's kind of...idk. We had a complicated relationship. She kinda sucks lol........idk I didn't handle things the best. I did what I always do (push my feelings down and pretend they don't exist until they turn into seething resentment lol) but also she just kind of! Didn't have to act the way she did! Literally ever. It's been like almost a year since I've seen her so I'm sure she's grown up some (I hope I did) but I just kinda want to...leave our relationship in the past, you know? Just rather go our separate ways. But she really...doesn't want that. :/ I feel shitty about it cuz...she just wants to be friends, you know? But I just want to put all that shit behind me! Forget about the whole thing. But I mean, if she does end up going here I'm gonna have to see her all the fucking time aaahhhhhhh

Whatever whatever! It's not important it'll be fine. Everything will be fine if I just pretend none of it is happening ✌

Song: Heartilation by AJJ