My first blog entry

I've wanted to write an online diary for a long time and to do so many other things, but I kept procrastinating and letting the days pass as I did things of no value, like watching youtube videos or scrolling through Twitter. Something terrible happened in the last two weeks. I won't be capable of distracting myself anymore for a long time. Yesterday I spent all night pacing around the house and crying and all day walking in my room. Today I feel more than ever an urgency to sort my thoughts and record every important thing that happens and every decision I make. My passivity and denial towards my feelings and situation have cost me too dearly to continue like this.

I've been journaling on and off (more off than on) since I was 18. I'm now 26. The problem with writing for yourself is that the whole point of a diary is you don't stay the same person. All my old journals are unreadable because I wrote them only for the person I was then. There is tons of implied context I thought I would never forget, but I have. I use indecipherable poetic phrases. I don't even understand my jokes. I want to write a diary for strangers because one day, the person I am today will be a stranger to me, and all I'll have to know them without this are distorted fragmentary memories.