scream 6!!!

so like. its been my status for a few days that im stoked for the new scream and i completely neglected to talk about it after it dropped im gonna do that now

to dissuade any gasps of terror as i proceed to give it glowing praise. i promise its not better than the original.

that being said, it's a good slasher flick! some good kills, some tense near-kills, and some impressive brutality from the final girls. overall a really fun experience, especially if youre sick of casts that cant handle themselves.

that being said! this leads me very well into my issues with it.

like, nobody dies. as far as im aware aside from the slashers themselves the only actual cast member to go is annika or whoever? falling from a window immediately after surviving losing way too much blood. she absolutely shouldve been dead like ten minutes earlier, her wounds are not at all something she should be running around with. to my horror, this becomes a common theme.

i cant believe theyre still keeping gale alive. please let her die oh my god i Dont like her.

sam was obnoxious too. the main conflict was supposed to be sympathetic, i think? but tara was like objectively right and it made me connect way less with the story as a result.

every single character is trying to be sidney prescott and none of them remotely are. you cant confront ghostface with badassery if youre not neve campbell.

the parallels with stu and mindy were really cool. theyre basically the same character. stu was initially so obvious that he came off as a red herring, and a character sharing his mannerisms and humour is immediately suspicious to us as an audience because of what stu taught us.

chad is based and i like him.

i enjoyed watching bloodstained jenna ortega stares down the virgin boy with murder in her eyes. if i was a tween watching this in a slumber party twenty years from now thatd probably be my lesbian awakening.

-j.k