l o v e

When I'm in love, I love heavily. There is nothing stopping my love for someone, no matter how bad they are, or can be. I will love them to oblivion. 

But then you get to know the real me. The me that cries for no reason sometimes. That can explode with anger. The me that could see you drop dead and wouldn't even flinch. You taunt me with leaving me, sometimes I'll get on my hands and knees and beg you to not leave. Other times, I'll hold the door open for you. I have borderline personality disorder and this makes it almost impossible to deal with any relationship. I've tried my hardest but it's never enough. I can't please everyone, so I learned to just get by and please myself. Do what makes me happy, whether that be cheating, or smoking, or flirting with people I have no feelings for just for the sake of feeling something in my life. I wish I could find someone who would put up with this shit but many don't want to. And I don't blame them, I wouldn't either. I think girls are the only ones to understand or come close to understanding. Because of the ''mood swings'' females get from time to time. Who knows, maybe I just like thinking there is SOMEONE who would understand me...