Just about had it.

Life as a traumatized introvert is extremely hard in Italy.

Here I am, on a four day school trip to Naples, alone with a now fading crush/school mate, just hating every moment. I'm supposed to be having fun and making some advances, but I just can't bring myself to have fun, to just enjoy the moment. I just have this downer energy that brings her down, too, and she's hating me for it, and making me hate her. Just picture this girl, without a worry in her mind, easy going, and this 185cm bitch-faced jerk that brings the mood down with his disillusioned attitude and too-strong grip on reality..."nah sorry we won't be able to get there, too much traffic", "that shit's fake/too expensive", "did you see the reviews on that restaurant?" Are just about all I say, but it's not to be mean, it's just the truth. Her choice with the hotel also isn't helping, we are in the middle of nowhere, it takes a forty euro taxi ride to get anywhere, and I couldn't rent a car because I had my license for less than a year.

Also we met some drug dealer guy(we didn't know at the time) at our school, and we decided to hang out with them along with some other girls. During the car ride to Naples city center, he just kept flaunting his dirty money with how much he paid his 1k jacket and 1k men's purse, or how he bought a 2k purse for mother's day. It's as if she fell in love at first sight with him. This short, ugly, no style, but most importantly cocky piece of shit. I'm not a hateful guy, in fact I get along or at least tolerate most people but this guy I CAN'T. after he was gone, she decided to get angry at me over a fifty cent, half empty bottle of water that I decided to throw away, as my pack was full. I decide to buy her a new one, but she doesn't accept it and keeps the grudge. Take a hint retard. She doesn't like you, you're too far apart, she never will. Out of school an hour ago I decide to have lunch by myself, with the excuse that I didn't want pasta, now she seems sorry. Being mean to her won't help, the heart is blind and when it decides, there's nothing you can do. My heart fucked me when it fell in love with her, she's not even that cute or smart, but she's cocky. See the pattern? He's cockier than her, she's cockier than me. The love hierarchy. Fuck this shit, when I get back, I'm taking a week off and going on a solo hike in the mountains.