This is Not For You. | TLOU "When We Are in Need" Analysis

i used to always wonder why no one called ellie a miller. everywhere i go, she was called her real name, ellie williams. people didn't seem to think that she would ever be called ellie miller, not even as a joke.

spoilers for the entire show ahead

early in episode 8 "when we are in need", ellie goes hunting and its been snowing hard. she nearly blends in due to her own snow white skin.

she attempts to shoot a rabbit but her tripping and falling on her face startles it, making it run away quickly. she takes her sights on a deer and shoots it in the side, wounding it but not enough to prevent it from running out of her sight. it dies slowly, its blood interrupting the blinding white ground.

david, a preacher and leader of a local organization that ellie has unknowingly run into before, finds the bloody tracks of the deer she shot. him and his right-hand man, james, are held at gunpoint by ellie who threatens to kill them if they think about doing anything and refuses to give her name to them.
after david figures out she and joel killed alec, a member of their organization, he ends up taking the deer from her in a forceful exchange for medicine for joel.

he returns to his group, dragging the deer in and presenting it proudly. he announces they'll go after ellie in the morning as it'll be easy to find her tracks in the snow.
he sits at a table in their dining room eating off a plate with what seems to be more food than anyone else.

the next morning ellie realizes very quickly she's being hunted, hiding out behind a fence to watch their patrol. david insists they shouldn't kill ellie, only joel. she gives joel a knife and warns him he isn't safe before attempting to barricade and protect him. she sets out on horseback, quickly finding davids group. she screams and shoots, making herself a big target while david once again reminds them, bring her back alive.

james takes aim and shoots her and joels horse in the side, sending her flying onto the ground, once again landing on her face. with ellie disoriented, their group (sans david) gathers around her as james towers over her, gun in her face with nowhere to run. he's stopped by david who commands two of them help him drag the horse and take ellie with them, the rest tasked with finding joel, saying "you so hungry for vengeance? deliver it." and walks off carrying ellie in his arms.

joel wakes up to the sound of people walking above him and he hides before taking out one of davids men. he will not lay idly by and be hunted. he's always been the hunter.

david has trapped ellie in a cage, hanging his supposed generosity over her head while she continues to refuse to give him her name. he tells her that without him, she's alone, planting the idea that joel hasn't made it. though ellie knows better, that joel is more than likely okay, she knows his state. as much as she wants to believe that he's safe, he very well could be dead right now.

during this joel is holding two of davids men hostage, torturing and making them tell him where they're keeping ellie. once he's given her location, he kills the first man, causing the other to scream in terror, telling joel he gave him what he wanted. joel weakly hobbles over, grabbing a metal pipe, saying, "it's okay, i believe him." as he kills the second man.

ellie, meanwhile, is attempting to break out when she sees a severed ear in the corner. david comes in and slides her a meal. they're eating people. they're going to eat her, she thinks.

he assures her that isn't what he wants to do and had the intention of telling her eventually as he sees himself in her. he sees violence and he sees a leader. he wants her as not just an equal but a friend. he believes in her loyalty and tells her he'll spare joel for her because his people follow him. they could follow both of them if she would let him in, saying

"imagine the life we could give them, imagine the life we could build."

ellie lets out a knowing "oh."

she calmly reaches for his hand before breaking his fingers and attempting to grab his keys. david instead grabs her by the hood and slams her face into the bars of her cage, stealing his keys back and calling her a cunt and saying "let's see what i go tell the others now."

she regains her composure and finally tells david her name is ellie, screaming

"tell them that ellie is the little girl who broke your fucking finger."

i cant resist putting this much dialogue in, its so good.

joel sees tracks of blood for his first time in the episode and breaks into a storage area davids group has. inside is ellies bag, their now dead horse and human bodies hung from their legs, headless.

david and james slam ellie down on a table to murder and eat her but stop when she says she's infected. david has a large bite on his hand and rolls up her sleeve to see her scar. while the two men are debating if her own bite is even real, she grabs a cleaver and stabs it into james neck, running for her life while barely avoiding gunfire from david, who takes the cleaver from james' neck and makes a straight line for ellie.

she throws a burning log at him in their main dining area, catching the building on fire. david reminds her the doors are locked and he has the keys, she has no where to run and he has the upper hand. he doesn't buy that she's infected.

as he paces the burning room he yells out at ellie, saying

"no one likes being humiliated, ellie. you don't know how good i am! you don't know what i could've given you, if you just let me!"

he continues, saying he's decided ellie does need a father and that she needs to be taught his ways. ellie jumps out and stabs david, being pinned to the ground - straddled by him, screaming and spitting, and told "there's no fear in love." she reaches for the cleaver he dropped and goes for his face, knocking him back. she straddles him too, beginning to slam the cleaver down onto his face.

then she does it again. and again. again and again and again and again and again until she's satisfied. the camera does not pan to his body. she looks up in horror, fire surrounding her.

she makes it out of the building and is grabbed from behind by joel, trying to escape from him until she realizes he's found her. he holds her face carefully, looking into her petrified eyes, her pale face once again blends into their snowy backdrop, the blood on it interrupting the pure white.

she hugs him as he whispers "it's okay baby girl, i've got you." he wraps his jacket around her and takes her away.

what stuck with me was the fact that we don't see davids face. its not uncommon to not see the bodies in this show, but david stood out to me.

ellie is given little autonomy by everyone around her. joel decides they're family and that she should live, marlene decides she should die for the worlds sake, david decides she belongs to his cause. ellie has every decision made for her and is ignored when she tries to take her life into her own hands.

she, like the deer, has been wounded by david in this moment. though his attempt to assault her was unsuccessful, the damage remains. she will bleed from her side, she'll limp from the pain, then one day she'll run again.

when she saves herself from david without joels help and kills him, its for her. ellie gets the satisfaction of killing david. she gets to look at his body. its hers and hers alone. ellies life, her trauma, her name - its not for you, the viewer. its for ellie.

ellie will never be a miller because she simply is not one.

she's ellie williams and she will not be hunted.