Oh Sh*t what did I do? 😭

yo yo yo what's good fellow chumps

I went to the mall this weekend.

I've been to that mall at least more than 15 times. In the span of a year. That's kind of a lot.

But this trip was special, you see. My friend JD was in Abq. He lives in Denver. We met in 8th grade. (That's for another blog)

So I wake up. Nothing to do. Pace around the house. "Oh yeah, JD's in town. I should ask him if he wants to go to the mall." 

I open snap. Bam. He sends me a text asking if I want to go to the mall with him.

(We're mentally interlinked.)

I ofc say yes. And he's like "Ok well lets go at 11."

It's already 10:30.

Okay, no biggie. I can easily get there in time.

Ohhh. I should invite TelemonaGirl. (My friend)

And then it goes down hill. 

She can't go because she has to stay home with her brothers and nobody can give her a ride so we spend like 30 minutes trying to firgure that out while I'm on the road driving all over the place and so we settle that she comes at 2:00. 

Me, JD, and Jasper gotta hold out for 3 hours. Easy.

I arrive at the mall. 30 minutes later than the planned time. He said he was gonna be at Round 1 so I go up the escalator to sneak up on him but he then texts me and asks if I just went up the escalator.

Be so fr rn

I go back down and see him waving at me in the crowd of people at the food court. 

He literally looks exactly the same.

I go sit with him and his mom and oh my god his mom looked so fed up with him. Like, she looked at him like she was about to start beating the crap outta him but it wasn't anything new cause she did that every day. Also, she had a completely different accent.

So JD orders a cheese steak heart stopping blood clotting fat inducing gut wrenching greasy sandwich and literally stuffs it into his face like a wild wolf. Classic JD. Of course, leaving all of the lettuce topping on the plate.

We then go to Dick's sporting goods cause I'm starting kickboxing and had to buy some gear. We mess around in there and spend a whopping 200 dollars 😭. Then his friend Jasper shows up. 

Before I met her, JD described her in a way that made me think she was a guy. So it really surprised me to see a girl with pretty good style start beating the crap outta him and dissing him.

We then walk around the mall and just talk random shit, holding a basketball that I bought and talking about throwing it at people and what not.

We walked towards the end of the mall, stopping at various stores on the way, deciding to go into a candy shop. He was so excited to buy some gummy bears. He was "oohing" and "aahing" and the assortment of candy, eagerly scooping up gummy bears and lollipops into his bag. We then go up to the register and ofc his broke ass has no money so he makes Jasper buy it for him. Smooth move.

We then walk back to the entrance of the mall, doing random shit, joking about drugs, murder, crime, suicide, and so so much more. It's at least 1:00 right now. We stop at some more stores, turning around at the entrance and looping back around. We stop at JC Penny and run into a teacher which both of them know. He's at least 60 and damn he was into the gossip that Jasper had to say about his past students. Like it was kinda creepy how he was laughing at a fight vieo they showed him but he seemed cool ig. We wandered around JC Penny and me and JD shared some... intimate moments... We both went into the bathroom and concieved our first child.

(I just started clapping really loudly and moaning JD's name.)

After that Jasper said that everybody was looking at the bathroom...

I think our next objective after that was to get some monster drinks so we went to the back of the mall. The monster drinks were at the entrance. So we looped back around and I bought the drinks like the good samaritan I am. So we're all caffinated and we go back to the back of the mall and oh my god. There's manniquins with wigs. I try my hardest to grasp the wig, Jasper pulling at my hood, choking me, and I finally put it on my head. And an store worker tells me to put it back and I feel really bad. We then go back out into the mall and spend 20 minutes trying to win a stupid crane game that is obviously rigged. But JD put his entire JDussy trying to win that starbucks cup.

Anyway, we then look towards the very back of the mall, where barely anybody goes. And Oh, My, Crap. The animal store is finally open. We  s p r i n t  to the entrance and start excitedly hopping and clapping, looking at all of the really sad looking dogs and cats, stuck in there tiny enclosures. JD manages to get a store attendant to let him play with one of the dogs while me and Jasper got really excited ofer this dog that positined its ears above its head to look like a triangle. It was so fucking cute ong. But after JD was done she didn't let us pet anymore dogs cause we weren't adopting so dammit JD you lucky bastard.

At that point we start walking towards the entrance of the mall, and oh my shit.

Furries.

Jd pulled out his knife, and sliced each of their throats...

no.

We passed by them recording them (obviously) and try not to think much. I think at that point we went outside and sat on the curb. Just chilling.

Then we wen't back inside and continued towards the entrance. Furries. Jasper asks me if I wanted to take a picture with them. Hell fucking no. But yes. So she asks them for me cause I'm obviously too scared to ask them and now I have that photo. So.

After that our main objective was to go to barnes and noble. So we start walking towards the end of the mall. And we go by the Boba Shop and I guess JD is supposed to meet somebody to get... some substances... (We're totally above 18 so its okay)

We were supposed to meet them in the Round 1 bathroom I think and even though we went in there before hand nobody was there.

We walk back into the mall, I'm feeling kind of uneasy yk. But luckily it's dead. So they're not high yet.

We continue towards the end of the mall towards barnes and noble. And as we're nearing, we go into furniture city. At that point, I put the basketball I bought into my shirt and became pregnant with our child.

We went outside LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO THE BARNES AND NOBLE ENTRANCE, and a fire truck, ambulance, and other ambulance pulls up. So, I start yelling. "MY WATER BROKE! I'M GOING INTO LABOR THANK GOD YOUR HERE." I lay down right in front of the truck and start screaming, people staring at me, some laughing, then we just hang outside the truck on a wall, chilling.

And we go back inside the mall. Skipping barnes and noble. So I'm a pregnant teen guy, walking around the mall. I look insane.

We go back to the entrance and Oh! TelemonaGirl is at barnes and noble! She's 2 hours late. It's like 4:00.

We start towards the end of the mall, when suddenly JD sees this girl on a massage seat. She's been there for at least 3 hours. He stops and talks to her, (unsuccessfully getting her snap cause he forgot to ask) and me and Jasper book it. Leaving him behind. He then loses us and ends up getting to Barnes and Noble before we do.

Me and Jas go to barnes and noble and oh. There's telemona girl. We go up into this kids reading circle and just kind of chill out, talking.

And then I would say it goes down hill from there.

(Part 1)