plans, hopes, stuff i’m excited for, stuff i’m glad is over

last year was pretty fucking tough for me, i got backstabbed TWICE after 5 years of friendship, relapsed, got retraumatized, blah blah blah i’m not gonna start full on venting but i can tell you it absolutely changed me as a person. and even now, over half a year later i’m still pretty upset about it (especially w what happened between me and my ex best friends) soooo i thought i’d try and think about some more positive things. this and venting thru art are probably the only healthy coping mechanisms i have leave me alone

soo next weekend me and my sister might go to a techno party! it’s not a rave sadly but it’s better than nothing ^-^ up until now i’ve only been to house parties which were never really good. they were fun yeah but we never had enough alcohol and overall it always seemed more like a sleepover than an actual party. so yeah i’m excited! i’m not too sure whether i can actually go though, since i’m under 18 and still don’t have an ID so i can’t prove that i’m 16. but she’s trying to talk the employees into letting me in anyway.

in april, me and my homie r4tpile are going to a concert! i’m really excited! and since it’s in berlin, we’re gonna try and get into clubs or raves after the concert. i’m so upset that me n my family moved away from berlin, i’m completely missing out on all the raves.. i wanna move back someday but rent in berlin is so fucking expensive it’s unbelievable. the concert is gonna be so cool, i just know it - i’ve never been to a concert before since most of my favorite bands don’t even come to germany (plus concert tickets and hotels and train tickets are expensive) but the tickets were pretty cheap, we even got a discount ^-^

i really want to start reading again, i paused reading my favorite ln cause the volume i was at was pretty boring and my attention span is shit. but i want to know what happens next and i wanna train my attention span so if i have more time on my hands i’ll try.

summer is what i’m most excited for, even though i have no set plans for it. i have a ton of new clothes (all thrifted i love thrift shops) that i really want to wear out but it’s too cold atm. i used to prefer winter but winter turned into a grey depressing version of autumn so now summer is my new homie. i live near a beach, lucky me! i look forward to swimming there every other week again ^-^ 

before summer break, me and my class are gonna go on a trip to a water park or whatever. i guess it’s cool but my classmates are actually really weird so idk how to feel about swimming with them. but the water park itself seems really fun, i love swimming, even though i’m not exactly good at it..

i had to do 9th grade a second time because i fucked up last year. my grades have been okay up until now, so i really hope i get into tenth grade this time.

by the end of the year my mom wants to take me and my sisters to a like a live show event thingy? it’s about drag queens afaik, seems cool. for my birthday (which is on the 27th of december!!!) i want a new piercing, i hope i’ll get that.