Hospitals (I blame Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

Hospitals. 

Needles, syringes, pills, 

hot big diddy nurses,

heart monitors...

I, myself, have never been in a hospital (thank the god fr) cause I don't try to hurt myself. I just spend all of my time inside of my room scrolling through YouTube, watching Asian cooking videos, playing my silly little 3ds, and jer- eghrm, watching Hulu.

Anyway, (can you tell I'm trying to be funny?) I hate doctors. The office is always liminal, it's super cold in there, it smells weird, and the doctors have a really fake happy voice that's kind of calming but makes me uneasy. Also they violate my rights right in front of my parents and nothing is done about it. 

Touching a minor cause it's YOUR JOB? Uh oh, sounds like pedo pedo pedo pedo-phill-ia.

Like I don't mind the needles. Sure the though it kind of weird, sticking a piece of medal into your veins inserting a foreign substance into your body, knowing that if just a lil bit of oxygen is inserted you could literally die...

The lung and heart monitoring doesn't bother me but it's just kinda weird having to sit in silence for a few seconds.

The blood pressure doesn't bother me cause I use our monitor at home for fun a lot.

And last time I went they made me waddle on the floor like a penguin but that was kind of funny.

But no. I hate the doctors. The people screaming in the back, the hazardous signs everywhere warning of bio waste or sum. The tubes, probes, thingums and whatnots. No. Like istg they prolly do all that just to torture you like be fr they can't just use some sort of scanner to like analyze my body and view everything???

And I even know that I've got it good now like I am literally dreading the day I turn 50. Like no. No no no no no. 

Also like, when your older, do they make you change into a hospital gown??? Cause I saw a TT of a dude being like "You think your really masculine until your sitting in a hospital gown buck naked, on a crinckly piece of paper, swinging your feet cause you can't touch the floor."

Like if they make me do that once I'm older, you already know I'm booking it out of there.

But when it comes to healthcare, I like the dentist. I know a lot of people dread going to the dentist, having the poke and probe but like idk it just doesn't bother me. 

The dentists offices are also really cool most of the time. Like they got fun decorations and silly little teeth jokes, and my dentist has a tv room so... Don't even come at me.

Also dentists are also really cool. Like they've got a good attitude and try to talk to you. And sure it's hard to explain your life story while they've got a mirror in your mouth but still.

(Omfg my old culinary teacher is explaining a really bad day she had and I feel so bad istg)

And like sometimes they give you that thingy that you put on your nose that I used to imagine was a sweater for rats that smells super good AND THEY LET YOU KEEP IT. Also, they fucking give you a GOODY BAG with a tooth brush, toothpaste, floss, and a sticker of spiderman or some sort of animal. Like the doctors are literally crying in shame in their sad cold offices, scaring everybody away.

AND ALSO, SOME DENTISTS HAVE FUCKING TV SCREENS WHERE YOU CAN WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE WHILE GETTING YOUR PROCEDURE DONE. LIKE BE FOR REAL NOW WHY DO PEOPLE NOT LIKE THE DENTIST??? ALL YOU GET TO LOOK AT AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE IS THE SCARY WALL WITH A SKELETON OR MUSCLE ANATOMY

Having said all that, I, myself, want to study dentistry after highschool. Like, it's kind of interesting. I mainly want to take a job in healthcare but that's for another blog.

And sure, people are like "Oh, what if they slice your tongue off, or accidentally bust your teeth?" 

Nah. They had to go through years of school. Like they would pass if they accidentally massacred on of their dentist dummies. Also, if they do do severe damage, just sue their ass. Yk? Take them to court. Sue that quack for malpractice and get a ton of money. Problem solved.

Like, the only problem I have with the dentist is how fucking aggressive they are about brushing your teeth. Like, when you go in to get them cleaned, they fucking show no mercy on your gums. And when they floss it? Hell No. That's the only thing that bothers me.

But hospitals. Last night I visited my dad in the hospital (He's totally fine.)

First impressions, it looked super weird. I tried to go through this door on the side but it wouldn't open and it turned out that I needed to go through this huge spinny door which one of the nurses told me. The lobby was absolutely hugs like it looked like a fucking airport. 

I told the desk why I was there and then proceeded to wander around this absolutely humongous lobby, until I found the elevator.

Now, I don't live in the city. I've never had to like actually use a proper elevator. So, I stood there for like 10 minutes waiting for a door to open. Like an absolute idiot. And I saw the 2 buttons in between the elevators but it had a "Incase of fire do whatever" sign on them so I was like "Oh. Those must be some sort of emergency buttons. Ion wanna press those. :)" So after 10 minutes I called my grandpa just to ask him how to use an elevator. I even looked it up...

So I'm in the elevator. Thinking that its going to fail and I'm gonna fall to my death. Wonderful. And Ding! "Floor eight" I then wandered around for 5 minutes, counting each room looking for my dads until I literally looped all the way around and realized that it was literally right next to the elevator.

It was nice seeing him yk. He was fine. But that's not the fucking point of this blog.

I left and proceeded to go to the elevators of which I thought were the same. No. I did not loop around apparently. It literally looked the exact same as before but nope it was a completely different elevator. And BAM.

Backrooms.

I walked out the elevator. My heart began to beat faster as I realized this was not the same floor as I had entered the elevator on. I stopped in my tracks. Yellow walls. The ringing of the lights. I looked to my left. A hallway. My right, another hallway. Something at the end. My steps overpowered the humming lights, echoing throughout the halls. I saw a room with windows only touching the ceiling. I rasied myself, standing on my toes. Fans. I walked further down the hall. I was met with a eerie corridor. The walls were skinned, bricks and pipes revealed. A crooked exit sign met my eyes. Do I go through? I stood there. Staring. I gathered up the courage to walk through but as I walked into the cold night, I head footsteps. I turned around. Expecting to be met by a demonic creature, thirsting for blood. But as the fifure was about to be revealed, the door shut. Locking me from the mystery.

Anyway, I wandered around the outside of the hotel not knowing where I was. At 9. Fully expecting to get kidnapped. After like 5 minutes I found our car then went home. And it was alls well that ends well.

Thank you thank you. You've been a wonderful audience. Thank you so much for attending my show and I wish you all a good night, and merry christmas.

(Also I didn't explain but Scary Stories in the Dark and Stranger things fueled my fear of hospitals. Also Ghost Face 4. But anyway goodbye)