Visiting my "bff"

Went to a new country! Im visitting my best friend for the first time, which would be lovely if i believed he actually liked hanging out with me, haha. I feel like im just bothering him. I cant tell if its the alcohol or just the way hes ignored me for the past 3 hours , who fucking knows. I dont really care , i blame him, its deserved. I just wish it wasnt such a struggle to be happy.