my first formal blog entry

to be honest, i struggled a bit to conjure something to write about. i've been like, tentatively opening up the new blog entry page and closing it when nothing felt good enough to write about. but now i'm thinking maybe it's not that serious! i can just post whatever i want, since blog entries and bulletins (which i love posting, btw!) are not that different, aside from how long they'd last on my blog. i want to also have a permanent register of things. i'm fond of the fleeting, tweet-like nature of bulletins, though!

that being said, this realization did not give me a topic to talk about, as much as it did get me writing. i actually am deciding what i want to talk about as i go. i'm thinking maybe my motivations for deciding to actively use spacehey are something good to talk about, as a kind of get-to-know me blog entry. 

i'm a very social person. i like community and talking to people and whatnot. however, that's been stunted a bit recently... i dropped out of uni, and i don't really have a job at the moment. not to traumadump. it's scary at times, but it's mostly exciting. not knowing what's to come. that's besides the point, though. this is a bit isolating, mostly because i spend my entire day at home, and with most if not all of my real life friends being in education and employment, it's kind of hard to satisfy my "social interaction quota". 

i've also been a little bit isolated of the online communities i frequent. mainly just kincord to be honest.. lol! it's understandable, though. that my thoughts can be controversial, especially when fiction is so intrinsically linked to my (our) reality (realities) as fictionkin. i don't particularly expect to be loved and accepted everywhere i go (i may be delusional, but i'm not out of touch with reality!) but i was used to going around and making acquaintances kind of everywhere... which i can't really do anymore, because i'm a bit scared of running into people who know me or being instantly isolated from a community because i've already set a precedent for myself. not that i have any gripes with being open with my opinions, because i find it a bit unfair to isolate everyone you disagree with and i know it's not me who's the problem. it's simply different, and a bit hard to grow accustomed  to. especially when everyone who's running and "telling on me" is everywhere in the community. 

these are mainly the reasons why, when i found people flocking to this social media in the wake of the vent app (lol), i thought maybe it'd be interesting to hang around here for a bit. everyone's really nice so far, so i'm liking it. i've also kind of brought the people i love in here with me, because i really do like sharing spaces with them. 

TL;DR: i think my main goal is to make more connections here.