The alleged life of user Autocorreckt

Okay, my hopes are up.

I'm a little problem-ridden so I can't just work a job and be cool with that smooth like ice 

because this ice is actually pretty sharp and it's not ice, it's my life, and my life is not ice. It's honestly more like peanut butter.

So what I mean is I feel like I'm ready now to finally start working again, I don't know where, but I got plans, I got potential energy, I AM LIFE! I AM APPETITE! 

Working one day a week I cannot possibly sustain myself

My dad scares tf out of me.

Fortunately I have the willpower to grow my own food. I'd really like to be a potato gardener. They're so easy, they grow in anything, even dirt. So if I could grow a bunch of potatoes, that would be pretty dang convenient, now wouldn't it?! 

But rent is going to be AT LEAST $400 a month, anywhere up in this bitch (I can swear here, right?) nowhere around here will be cheaper than cocaine.

"Pork and beans and oatmeal, good luck!" He says before shutting the door behind him going into the bathroom.

I can't come up with 400 bucks a month working one day a week, it's gonna be a mental process for me. The kind of mentally ill lifestyle I live right now is not compatible with most employers.

Good news! I can get by on 2 days a week, though! Assuming I'm working around 8hrs per shift and my hourly salary is at least 12.50

I guarantee you I can handle two days, eventually. Three days? I'd be doing even better financially than working two days, and that's just three days! 

I like the way guarantee is spelled like gwar-antee 

I can live in most conditions. I can live in squalor. No a/c? Idgaf. Mold? Paint over it bb. I don't care if it's a shitty little apartment, I'M ALIVE AND I'M GRATEFUL! 

My whole face can fit in my hand *WACK!*

Maybe I can move out around the 4th of July? But I don't want to rush myself. It's the beginning of March. I think maybe I can start working by the end of the month. One day a week. Get used to it. By May, two days, by July, three. 

I do plan to be out of town around July 4th

I'll figure it out, I always do 

Stay tuned, Looney tunes