Domestic Violence survivors (MEN and WOMEN)

I met my abuser when I was 12. We dated for almost a year and then broke up due to distance. We then got back together when I was 17 when I moved to the same town as him. At that time we only lasted a few months because his maturity level was a lot lower than mine. In the time frame that we were split for the second time, I had found a man who I thought was the love of my life... We had 2 children together and had gotten married. We were together for 4 years. And it was after we had split that my ex came back into my life. We split due to an addiction of mine. I thought it was meant to be... But some things are too good to believe. We started talking again and it seemed like he had changed, but in realize that he hadn't and that it was the drugs talking threw him. The type of person that I am a person who will help anyone before I help myself. I helped him get off the point...BUT he was still getting high.. As was I, but i wasnt into what he was. Everything was going okay until about 6 months into the relationship. The fights began to get physical. To the point I was afraid to go out of my house to see anyone. And if i did i always had makeup on. It was August 2018 he was so GONE that I said one wrong thing to him and he threw me on to the ground and shattered my wrist in 3 places. I then had a friend take me to the ER... Of course I had a story made up because I loved him and didnt want him to go to jail. At that time i knew what the hospital gave me wasnt going to help due to my addiction, so I decided the next day that I was going to handle the pain because nothing worked for it. 2 days later i had asked him to help me wash my hair since it hadnt been done for a few days and he lost his shit and busted my head open. Back to the ER I went and at that time they called the police due to the fact it was a new injury 2 days after I left the ER. That day he went to jail. It took 2 different police forces to arrest him because he was considered a danger. I felt like it was the worst timing ever because at the end of that week my mother had passed away from ALS.  The only thing that  I am still proud of to this day, is that she got to see me sober before she passed. While he was in jail I had met someone who taught me it was okay to love again... He was the greatest person that I had opened up my life too. And that all started when he asked me if i wanted to smoke a blunt with him. He was 3 years clean from H, but relapsed and died hours  after i opened up to him about the past relationship i was in and how my mother had just passed. 

  I stayed single until around December 2018 when he got out of jail... I swore i would never go back to him, but out of the blue he called me and claimed to have changed and wanted to talk.... Well when it came to him there was no talking. It was just sex. That went on for another year... And things just kept getting worse. And I was to the point I was done with it and I would fight back. I never knew I could fight back the way i did but it was to keep me and my children safe... Throughout the 3 years I was with him I have had a broken wrist, broken fingers, possible broken ribs, my other wrist has nerve damage, continuous black eyes, concussions, and a bruised body... 

Just remember ABUSE IS NOT OKAY!!!  I'm only 24 years old and I have dealt with verbal, sexual and physical abuse and None are okay. I am an open ear to anyone who needs to talk. I will not judge you because I have been threw it. All I can do is give advice.