life

a friend and i were talking about defining life in a poem/journal entry and this was my take on it!

TW

life

what is life more than just a lie that you tell yourself?

a lie that gets you through the day

a lie that gets you through the constant question of "where do we come from?" and "where do we go?"

where do i come from?

i come from lavender essential oils and unidentifiable stains in my mattress.

two q-tips in each ear and fighting off car sickness in the backseat of my moms small silver car.

brain freezes at the water park and adding fractions in the classroom i spend all of my classes in.

scrapes on my knees and airborne cooties.

whats become of me?

ive become dreading blowing out the candles on each birthday that passes.

sex in the morning and scars on my skin.

dancing in the kitchen and throwing up when i eat.

skin to skin contact and passive suicidal thoughts.

i am growing old.

innocence comes with the promise of the next day.

it feels like something you need to cling on to to survive.

the bliss of childhood becomes a craving you will never fully taste again.

life is learning to bury the body of the simple pleasures you will never relive.

life is feeling like youre losing yourself more and more with each year that passes.

life is also seeing the beauty in the pain that you once thought would kill you.

the beauty in the flowers that have grown from your scars and skyscrapers of strength that are there to mark every milestone.

finding your own place to call home.

i bet years ago id think this is all a really sad thought.

but it doesnt matter.

it doesnt matter unless you make it matter.

thats the lie you have to tell yourself.