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W+I / H2G2 Crossover Selfship Explained

Hello, finally decided to make this blog explaining the main au that I'm selfshipping from! Vyvian helped with certain parts of it so it would be worded properly <3 Thank you Vyv!

Warning for in depth talk of abuse, self harm and addiction. If any of those are triggers for you, you are unlikely to like this au. It is awful and miserable. This is a dead dove so PLEASE do not eat.

This also is 18+, as while it isn't sexual, it's very fucking dark and has kink mentions.

Please be aware most of this au is for coping purposes. Please do not ask me what I'm using it to cope with or what my qpp is using it to cope with, it is none of your business. It does not reflect how either of us treat real people or what our relationship is actually like.

The au is Withnail and I (W+I) , crossed over with Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (H2G2), and with selfshipping (adding me and Vyv)


This au reads Withnail and Marwood as a largely one sided & abusive romantic relationship. They break up in that last scene of the movie (Marwood leaves Withnail), and where that leaves off, this au starts.

Vyvian ends up in a qpr with Marwood, and sets out to help him recover from his relationship with Withnail, and from his alcohol addiction. It's a really sweet start to the relationship and Marwood initially ends up a lot healthier.

While this is going on, I (Val) have started hanging around with Withnail, and have specifically set out to make him worse and treat him like shit. We're incredibly violent towards each other, but are enjoying it to some extent clearly as we keep going back to hang out with each other.

Me and Vyvian are still QPPs in this au, and live nearby each other and give updates on how our side of things is going.

Ford and Arthur are also in this! Ford is with Arthur and Vyvian, and Arthur is also with Marwood. Ford sometimes hangs out with me and Withnail as he can tolerate the violent things Withnail likes to say. Marwood and Arthur are both terrified of me for the way I treat Withnail.

At some point, my relationship with Withnail and Vyvian's relationship with Marwood both take a turn.

While trying to make Withnail worse, I find I'm accidentally doing things that help him like bringing food so he starts to gain weight. We start to get close and while he doesn't love anyone, he starts to enjoy my company. We enter a consensually sadistic relationship where we're able to hurt each other however we like, and appreciate each other to some extent.

Meanwhile, Vyvian and Marwood do not keep improving together, and instead both relapse and drag each other into their addictions further. Vyvian gets Marwood to start using weed, and Marwood makes Vyvian an alcoholic. They get worse together, and it becomes apparent how bad they are for each other when I mention that I took note of something they do as a way to mistreat Withnail.

This leaves me and Arthur as the only ones not actively addicted to something. He attempts to talk to me about the situation to see if we could do something to help, and my response is essentially,
"I'm going to watch and see what happens, this could be funny."
Which reminds him why he doesn't talk to me.

Ford is recovering from his addiction luckily, using Marwood and Vyvian as a "don't do this" example to inspire him to improve.


- Vyvian, who had a history of self-harm irl, relapses on it in this AU. Marwood, after being initially concerned (and helping take care of Vyvian's injuries), ends up trying it himself and finds himself developing a problem with it. They take care of each other's injuries and see it as a kind of fucked-up but sweet bonding activity.

- Vyvian starts consuming their own blood occasionally and eventually they and Marwood end up drinking each other's blood after cutting sometimes.

- The reason Withnail starts gaining weight is because I naturally feed the people around me. After a while of this it turns into feedism to some extent (without any aim of heavy weight gain).

- Vyvian sees this and asks to do feedism with me too, which DOES have the aim of weight gain, more than would be comfortable for them in real life.

- If you're familiar with the concept of a free-use relationship, this is probably the best thing to compare me and Withnail too. But with sadism instead.

- Me and Withnail get married and divorced for the sake of it. Entirely platonically. He gets drunk at the wedding and we have a divorce party too. This happens just after Vyvian and Marwood start spiralling into self destruction, so they're at their worst.

- Withnail in this au enjoys suffering and misery and talking about violence a lot. This is the basis for his relationship for anyone he actually talks to in this au.

- I also read Withnail as chronically ill, this being what led to him drinking and also what prevents him from getting a role. It's mostly left unspecified what illness it is, but I think rheumatoid arthritis. Bonding over disability with me is what leads to us becoming close in the second half

- We also decided he likes to read, and as with everything, he loves to criticise and complain. Given me, Vyvian and Ford are all writers, with me and Vyvian having some particularly dark projects, we form a sort of writing group and let Withnail beta read our work.

- Everyone in this au is aromantic and/or asexual. Nobody is alloromantic allosexual. Sorry not sorry <3 The relationships after the initial romantic Marwood/Withnail breakup are ALL qpps or friendships. The sole exception being Marwood x Arthur, who are both alloromantic but asexual.

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