Self-Negligence vs. Self-Care

I practice self-care differently than the vast majority of people out there, as I’ve grown I’ve realized putting other people before myself is what truly makes me happy. I feel as though we live in a society that promotes self love and care at every corner, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it gives me this feeling of being irregular, in a bad sense. For example, I’ve been told I’m negligent of myself and that I need to stop putting other people before me, but ever since I was little I’ve always naturally gravitated towards putting myself before others, in turn, lots of people in my life view me as either self absorbed or self negligent. It upsets me because it feels like I can’t ever seem normal, even though my heart tells me I shouldn’t care what society thinks. People either view me as someone who doesn’t care about themselves, a vain narcissist who’s selfish to the core, or a kind soul who puts other people before him. It pins me in a way where I feel obligated to be a people pleaser, to the point where I’ve had breakdowns of never truly knowing if I’m myself or not. Todays lesson: If you face people who don’t truly understand the way your brain functions and mark you as a certain way, don’t make the mistake I have and waste time on the person if they refuse to see the bigger picture of you as a person.