Journal Entry #16: 03/04/23

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I was gonna post yesterday, but for whatever reason, I didn’t.

I’ve found myself within a strange state of apathy and melancholy. The problem is, I don’t really know what’s causing it. 

I have about a week till spring break starts, which is pretty nice at least. However, I forgot to do a page of work for AP Stats, and this nine weeks grade is about to be solidified. Thankfully, I have a test soon, so hopefully I can keep it at a B. Also, I got rejected from the university I mentioned earlier. It didn’t really make me feel anything though because I knew it would be a long shot. Anyway, there are many more decisions I’m waiting on.

Oh, and the weather’s supposed to be cold for spring break :/ Unfortunately this will put a dent in some of my outdoor plans if it stays cold the whole week. But for now, I need to focus on finishing this grading period strong. 

I’ve found myself yearning for some intimacy lately. And by intimacy, I mean a little bit of friendship and a lot in terms of romantic relationships. I just wanna be close to someone right now. I want someone to blow my mind, and I want to do the same to them. Maybe I just need some mental stimulation; I’ve been kinda bored lately, anyway. 

Because of this desire, I’ve found myself reevaluating what I want in a guy. I’ve had a relationship before, but I’m not sure if I can really call it that now, considering that it was mostly just intellectual discussion with shallow knowledge of the other. For now though, I guess I’ll say what I like. I want a guy who’s silly, but also intelligent and can be witty. It’d be nice if he were into some type of physical tech like old computers or sound modifiers. I also think glasses are cute. Although nerds are stereotyped as being either super skinny or super fat, it’d be nice to find a guy who’s buff (with a little fat on him) who’s kinda nerdy. 

Anyway, enough weird guy rambling. Maybe I’ll find someone in college who fits some of these criteria. Oh, and one other thing: I kinda like blurring the line between friendship and relationship. Dunno how that would work. Maybe I’ll talk about it later.

I’ll talk about this coming week later. As for now,

Boa noite,

AstraGenesis ┈━═☆

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