MARCH 3RD 2023

Last night I had found pictures of me online. My school had posted them on facebook. I dont care that they posted them, but I didnt know that thats how people saw me. I am a lot bigger then i thought i was. I look like i have a hunch back. It was too much. I didnt end up going to school today.

i had a docters appointment today. I talked a lot about my mental health. I cried 3 times in the time of an hour. I talked about my dads adhd, insomnia, and anxiety. I cried over the pictures I had discovered, my dark thoughts, and my mom. I got recommended a handful of counslers and prescribed a sleep medication.

Why do I miss my mom? she did nothing for me. respect is a 2 way street but I cant help but want to forgive her for fucking me up so much and doing jack shit about it.

The sleep meds scare me. I have never had been prescribed medication before.

I am going to blog these notes i take throughout the day. I always end up with a pile of diaries with no dates. I feel like this will be a way to put all my thoughts into one place.