i miss you timmy

2 weeks ago was the last time i saw my brother. never did i think it was gonna be the last time i saw him. you called me on friday and we talked for a bit. we ended the conversation with our normal goodbye followed by our i love yous and a be safe. that was the last time i had taked to you, heard your voice, heard you tell me you loved me. i missed your call saturday morning at 02:16 and man do i wish that i was awake to answer your call. i miss you so fucking much dawg and its crazy to me that i cant just pick up my phone and call you anymore. i cant just grab my keys and go see you. im sorry that i couldn't get you out of the shit that you were in. i tried with absolutely every single piece of me that i had to save you from the world that you were in.  i tried to help you so many times with so many things, hearing you promise me that you were done with the shit and that you wanted to get clean. i still vividly see when me and makayla sat with you at mcbride in the corner of the lunchroom, telling you that youd be okay after you were crying to me about everything going on while we were holding onto you. i told you that youd get out of it and man, i never wanted to believe that your way of getting out was to not be here at all. i dont wanna say that i saw this coming but dude, youve gotta understand that you were at the point of where every time you called me, i never knew if it was gonna be our last phone call or if you were calling me to tell me that youve died again or od'd. i miss you dude, and i know you were fighting hard. i just wish i wouldve been able to do something to change how things played out. i miss you alot man. i never once told you anything but the truth when i called you my brother; when i called you family; when i told you that i loved you and that id always be there for you till the day i was in the ground. im so sorry that you were taken from us so fucking soon. till we meet again brother, we'll be together fucking shit up again someday. love you dawg