WHAT has the world COME TO??? (candy bar rant)

so i was recently in the deli right under my apartment with my partner when they pointed out to me something that i can't help but recoil at the thought of...

cookie dough twix

IT'S REAL TOO!!!!! I SHIT YOU NOT THIS IS A REAL THING!!!!

what in GOD'S NAME has this world come to ??? cookie dough twix???

cookie dough is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a flavor to add to a candy bar!!! cookie dough is not equivalent to, say, caramel, which could be added or taken away from a candy bar and it's a delightful treat either way for most people - for example milky way bars and three muskateer bars. COOKIE DOUGH on the other hand is a treat WITHIN ITSELF. cookie dough is ranked incredibly high on the ranking of decadence - purely for the fact that it is the original forbidden treat. to add cookie dough to something like a twix is to overindulge

i'm starting to realize this is perhaps less a critique of candy bars, but rather a critique of the western tendency to overindulge - i'm speaking from an american point of view here and don't want to pull broad strokes, so i'll speak at least for america -- americans LOVE overindulgence. americans don't know how to dial it back.

the cookie dough twix is just proof of this.

in other news, i tried a birthday cake kitkat bar that my partner picked up. it was quite good, actually, which i didn't expect, if a bit too sweet. i'll probably just stick to my mr. goodbars.