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bisexual young emo girl has her first gay panic

I was 12 when I started dressing more emo. If I were to describe how my style evolved since then, I'd say I simply got better taste in clothes and more freedom. My entire style used to be black band way-too-large for me tee, black and white striped blouse, black belt with metallic circles, and black overpriced pants with chains which were more technowear than anything close to emo. I also wore knock-off Doc Martens imitations, which I still do to this day (I'm too broke for actual Doc Martens okay guys). I obviously tucked EVERYTHING into my pants, making my hips look...dislocated, as a friend kindly put it. I look back with terror at that stage of my life.


One day I was visiting a different city with a non-emo (now ex-) friend. We were in a park, chilling on a bench when one girl approached us. She was older than us, probably +3 years. She was a goth chick, with simple makeup, and with clothes way cooler clothes than mine. She said she saw me and thought I looked cool and wanted to know where my tee was from. I panicked, obviously (what would you expect from a young, bisexual emo girl who never talked to a goth chick this cute before?). I blurted out the name of the first shop that came to mind, saying I also loved her clothes. The rest of our conversation is a blur, although I do remember discussing music and me forgetting the name of all the bands I liked except MCR and PATD, and she might've also asked me for my Instagram, which I either lied about not having or gave it to her and she never followed me. She also recommended BVB to me, and god did she promote them like her life depended on it. Of course, I forgot the name of the band until a year later. She also said she never saw someone with a taste in clothing as good as mine, which is where I got suspicious. Really? You never saw someone tuck 3+ layers of clothing into baggy pants? Truly fashionable. 


The point is, even if I don't know if you were simply trying to make fun of a cringe baby emo, or if you were actually genuine, I hope you're well wherever you are now, thank you for making me feel gay panic for the first time. 


PS: If you want to get a better visual of how I dressed and acted back then, here's a starter pack. 

actual emo teen in 2019 starter pack (by an actual emo teen ...



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