MARCH/1/2023

March 1st 2023 10:20 AM

Lyric: Say I'm an apparition, malformation; what's the difference?

Mood: relaxed

Have to do some homework today and I have a quick class but other than that I'm free and it feels gooddddd

Yesterday I lost the main audio file for my homework ;u; so that sucked (on top of everything else) but it's chill I guess I'll just have to re-record it lmao

Anyway spring break is soon. Ppl talk about spring break being this like huge thing for college students where they go crazy and party and whatever. My school is even sending out emails talking about it. But I really don't have any plans like that lol I'm prob just gonna go shopping with Will and play guitar a lot? I'm not really a partying type ngl (prob not a surprise lol) but I'll enjoy all the IG posts of my friends having fun <3

I wish I could hang with 🐝 a little more. Maybe I can see them over break, that'd be cool.

🧸 hates me so much it's kinda funny bc I'm totally over it? Which sounds so dumb to say lmao but I just kinda don't care about it anymore. Like...she's just kind of a shitty friend, it's not a reflection on me. Everyone is realizing that she's just kind of atrocious, especially after she broke 🍬's arm. That's the second person she's sent to the ER (after me lol). She's still so mad at me and I literally forgot she existed lol

Ngl I don't totally understand the concept of "love languages" or wtvr but I think mine is gift giving. I fucking love giving gifts to the people I care about. If I give you a gift it means I think about you daily and you're genuinely really important to me. But in terms of receiving I'm...not a huge fan of gifts :') Idk why. I'm very grateful when ppl give me gifts and I appreciate it a lot and it was so so cute when Will gave me that painting he made of Hannibal and I cherish it every. single. day. but in terms of receiving I'm really quite a... idk... fan of like quality time or words of affirmation.

Will's Valentine's Day gift for me was actually the best possible gift you could give me bc it could be utilized by both parties. In my family, it's a big thing that everything should be reciprocal. You give someone a gift, they give you a gift. So when someone gives me a present like a painting for instance I just feel guilty bc I can't give them the same thing back. Will's Vday gift of chocolates is perfect because it circumvents this; we both enjoyed the chocolates together therefore I don't have to feel guilty! Anyway in review: he is very cute and I like him <333

There's this little sign in the common area of the dorm that says like "reminder: you're single for Valentine's Day" and every time I see it I just go HA wrong. Lmao

Sometimes I wonder if the reason gift giving is my main love language but gift receiving ISN'T is because of Harvest Moon （；へ：）LMAO

It was a big special interest for me for literally my whole childhood (possibly still idk) and it like...drilled into me that ppl will like me if I give them presents shdkfshfadhf shout out to Harvest Moon Ig

Anyway I'm thinking about rewatching House MD. I love that show so much but I realized I don't remember like 90% of the plot for some reason??? I watched so much of the show but remember almost...nothing. Idk how that's...possible. But I'm gonna rewatch it

I was telling Will about how I'm like in love with Niles Crane lmao and he said "god why does he kinda look like me" and I was like FUCK? HE DOES THO why does Will just look like an amalgamation of every male crush I have aaahhhhhhh do I just have a type or what???

I'm thinking about dying my hair again also. I like what it's been doing recently but I need to change my hair like every three months at most or I literally die it's an issue. The thing is I kind of love having blonde hair (at least half) so like...idk...maybe I'll just die the other half bright blue? But I'm also kind of thinking about like...orange. Or just straight up yellow. Idk. Or red?????? IDKKKKKKK AAAHHHHHHHHH it's so hard choosing hair dye

Or maybe half orange half blue...wait...

Song: Wine Red by The Hush Sound