I've been casually seeing a wealthy orthodox jew Diary Entry 1

So, I've been casually seeing a wealthy orthodox jew with a wife and kids (Their relationship is either open or they're both cheating. It isn't my problem though) And it sucks. Having a stylish affair is not so stylish.

He has a treasure chest of weird kinks that include making me suck his thumb like I'm a baby. He has a shitty personality and is the worst communicator ever and he has a voice exactly like Ray Romano. Without the money he's a 2.

I'm a 10. Young. Fashionable. I've got the tizzy, and in that way that makes guys think you're some kind of manic pixie dream girl. And a career woman. And here I am writing a blog post about him. But, I feel it's the only way to mourn the wealthy mistress lifestyle that I almost had.

This isn;t the first bag I fumbled and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Here's how we got involved. Let's call him Bill

So, I used to go to these sex parties and Bill has a table there where he did wax massages on women and there was always long line. Some other rich asshole who was a part owner in the house was trying to impress my friend at the time, so he asked the guy to do wax play on me. Bill thought I was cute. So he instantly flirts with me. He actually kisses me and after the massage I give him head and he's blown away and gives me his number. We start talking casually and going on dinner dates.

Let's fast forward because I'm impatient. After a while we go to a group dinner (4 people. me, him, a mutual guy friend and his female friend, so it's low key giving double date) where he flirts with the waitress and discusses their date coming up. 

On a broader level I don't give a shit because we weren't exclusive and I was in an open relationship. But bitch what the fuck? LITERALLY at the table. Right in front of my face you're flirting. Be fucking for real.

He says the N word in the car while singing a rap song. Then when I say something, politely of course because we black women always must rise above(bullshit), he gives a dumb excuse about having been raised around black people, so it's a reflex. Like WHAT are you talking about. I know you're lying. 

After I say something though. He ghosts me. And then unghosts me to act like he wants to talk about it and then ghosts me again. Yes, yes I have my clown wig, nose, boots and squirting flower brooch all ready. Okay?! Because when he apologizes a full year after him being very awkward every time we saw each other at the parties and me being extremely cool and collected he apologizes. 

Now let me give you an idea of how rich he is. At the dinner the wait staff brought him desserts from a completely different restaurant in the middle of dinner and served it to him on a wooden platter because he said the dessert at the restaurant we were already at wasn't good. And the place next door was better. Y'all he didn't even finish his food. Like not even a little bit. Barely ate anything. Just as a flex.

So, please understand why I started talking to him again...

He apologized, gave this whole speech and everything and acknowledged his wrong doing and said it had been eating him up, but he thought I was mad at him and I never spoke to him, so he wasn't sure. (which is hilarious because he literally ghosted me)

He laid it on so thick about how he was into me. And he started off real strong, giving me money, taking me to fancy hotels. It was all very nice. He called me everyday or night or both, he texted me nonstop, he even told me after a day of me not texting him that we should text everyday, which i had no issue with. Days after saying that though, he switched up. He says he's still really into me, but I don't believe him. Because he's a terrible communicator and admitted to, at his big age, ghosting to end relationships or. just letting it fizzle out naturally. He calls and texts every couple days now, ignores half the questions I ask and makes empty promises. Like bro we weren't even dating and you're acting like this? And don't get me started on the empty promises! I was supposed to go to Columbia! Now, his excuse is that he's busy. But he's been busy this entire time and was able to make time for me before, so this is ridiculous. He will insist he's not ghosting or fizzling! But to be honest, I don't even wanna find out. He's currently blocked. 

Goodbye to the life that almost was.🥹