some thoughts.

thinking about this post from an aspec blog on tumblr. i used to think this way too. i still do. adamantly i believe that people who prioritise a romantic love to the exclusion of all else are engaging in unhealthy discourses and perpetuating a way of life that not only harms themselves but those around them. by making your life about one single romantic relationship where you treat only that person with kindness and compassion, you're isolating yourself. by putting all your effort and time into one person, you're on the path to burning yourself and your partner out. by spending time with only one person, you'll find yourself lacking a support network. 

this goes for polyamory too, i think. it's still unhealthy to be in this little... clique-like group of people. you need hobbies, you need interests, you need friends. friends you treat with care. life isn't just about love.........

but the thing is... and here's where i diverge completely from the post: the thing is, i do feel "blissfully happy" in my queerplatonic relationship. it's not romantic love, but it is a love that makes me blissfully happy in every other aspect of my life. for me, life IS love. because the relationship is balanced. because i spend time with friends. because i have my spirituality and pagan work. my love for my partner permeates everything i do, and in the past without them i think i'd always felt lonely in a way i didn't understand until now.

i still relate to the post, because romantic love just ain't it to me. romantic mindsets of "treat only your partner with compassion" is horribly toxic in my opinion. but i also oppose the post because in my personal circumstances, my life truly began when i found my one and only Twinflame. and i know that's because our relationship is highly spiritual and healing in nature. we treat each other with grace, sweetness and kindness in a way that neither of us have ever felt in our whole lives before now. we help each other work through our trauma not just out of necessity thanks to accessibility issues, but because we can, because we understand each other better than anyone else in both of our lives and because we have the smarts and the empathy to.

but i do think what ellis and i have is special, unique, and unlike anything else on earth. i'm not being egotistical, i just have never seen, felt or heard of anything like the relationship we share. hence why it isn't romantic. and that said, i do think people in general need to be overall kinder to each other and there for each other better, outside of their romantic relationships.