I feel hopeless.

I was perfectly fine and healthy. My life was finally going in the direction I wanted. Everyone was proud of me, I was proud of me.

And then, medical negligence ruined me once again. For the past 3 weeks I have been suffering because of a medical reason. I don't want to get into details, but my doctor assured me three times that I would be perfectly fine to go through with this procedure. How many times have I heard that one before?

I trusted him because he is a doctor. And well, he ended up being very wrong. Everything has completely derailed and I have been experiencing scary effects as a result of this. I looked up the normal procedure for this sort of thing, and it was completely different from what my doctor had me do.

Having to put my life on hold is devastating. I already spent several years of my life recovering from a serious health condition that I was convinced would take my life. And now, I recover, just to have this happen to me.

Why can't I ever be truly in control of my own life? I don't want to have to tell my instructor again that I have to cancel a flight lesson. I was supposed to have taken the written exam already, I studied every single day for a month, and it was all for nothing.

It makes me feel like I am a failure. I don't like to pretend that my life is all perfect, because I have fought hard to get to where I am now. And this now, this is not something I can fight. I don't know what's going to happen to me anymore. How long will this last? Will I be permanently disabled from this? And if so.... Then I am going to sue the hospital for what they did to me.