Philosophy + Gifted Kid Burnout

TW: ED MENTION

It's kind of difficult to explain to people that I don't really want to do anything meaningful with my life. While I'm able to bear children, I have no desire or ability to rear them. Money is fine, but I don't need more than I need, if that makes sense. I guess I'd like to help people, but not because I'm a good person or anything, just because it makes me feel good about myself. And you might be asking yourself, "but Sal, everyone has to live for something, right?" But that's not necessarily true. 

I don't really want anything from this life. It's not because I'm sui****l or anything like that, I just... don't really care? I think it's a symptom of gifted kid burnout, like, I find myself simply not caring about getting the best job or making the most money as long as I can be happy and do the things I enjoy in reasonable comfort. I don't want to be the best in my field. I don't want to get to the highest promotion I can. I just see no reason to slave away for things like that. It's not because I'm above those things, I just really don't mind either way.

I know my mother would be disappointed in me if I confessed my lack of ambition to her, but I'm working on not caring what she thinks. I beat an ED and depression in this life. For all those hours of suffering, I am going to reward myself by doing whatever I like.