i wish i could have one of those coming of age movie type summers

do you ever just wish for shit that's totally never gonna fucking happen?

i'm 19, right. i feel like i'm too old to want this, but i just wish i could have a summer where i have friends around me, and we could go out and get druck or high in a field, go home and play old video games together, go out at night and steal traffic cones and find funny little things on the side of the road. we could listen to music on a crunchy speaker, make playlists together. or we could do something wild like cut/bleach/dye our hair into something our families hate. and when we're apart, we could message at night, play online games with eachother and help eachother out. we could talk through the night till it's 4am and we have to sleep before work or uni or whatever.

i wish i had a group of friends, not just one, that truly understood me. understood why i am this way. what really shaped me as a person. and they would tell me what shaped them too. we could be honest with one another, like a found family. none of that fake friend bullshit i've had over the years.

i will never get this. 

i live in the middle of fucking nowhere in the uk. nobody around me wants to understand me. i have craved friends like this for so so long, and replaying life is strange again made me want it even more. i don't even fucking go out. i have nobody to go out and hang out with. everybody is so distant these days. nobody would want to just sit outside and talk for hours with me. it sucks balls.

anyways, i made a playlist for this type of depressing ass vibe i got going on. here you go. have a great day, drink whatever you got, smoke whatever you got, cheers to life and loneliness i guess.

peace out for today.