Ok, I need to get this off my chest.
Let's start off with the fact that I am truly, genuinely happy in my relationship. At least I believe I am. However, there's a small part of me that wonders if I need to leave this relationship and spend some time caring for myself, by myself. Here's my issue.
So, my boyfriend, let's call him Kyle for simplicity and anonymity, and I have been dating since early November. Let me say that we did rush into things... my friend told him I liked him during our school's Halloween carnival and it all unraveled from there. We've been pretty happy since then. I think. However, every once in a while he will say something like "don't do X, because I don't want to have to find a new girlfriend." I am 99% sure that he's only joking, but the 1% has had me caught up in the past few weeks. That coupled with the fact that he really only speaks to me at school and we barely go out has made me think about some things.
Now, the catalyst. A few nights ago, a friend of mine (let's call him Stan) confessed that he has a crush on me. we both agreed that it wouldn't change our friendship, and I thought it was the end of that. of course, I've teased him a little bit about blushing when we interact, but not in a flirty way. I've really tried not to entertain his "delusions" (another friend's words, not mine).
Last night, Stan and I were texting and he confirmed my worries. He said that it looks to others as if Kyle is slowly but surely losing interest in me, and he thinks I deserve better. Originally, I didn't put any stock in what he said, because I know he wants to date me. However... I have the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like it's the truth. It's not just him making it up, I see it too. I don't want to break up with Kyle, but I truly believe I deserve better in some aspects. I don't know. I'm so confused. I got so used to never having anyone like me, that now that multiple people like me? I'm so confused. I thought it would be fun to be desired, but it's not. It's confusing and it makes me feel gross. I'm so disappointed in this situation.
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diogenes
hey, its been a while. I'm happy to catch up more in dms, but I'd like to talk a little about whats going on here rn. Relationships are fucking hard, genuinely. First off, I just want to give you credit for sticking it out and having the relationship in the first place. Secondly, yeah, this situation is really fucking shitty, and I'm sorry to hear it isn't going well. The second guy is meddling, his words don't hold any weight, so good on you for ignoring him. It's really up to you. If this relationship just isn't working for you, and these suspicions confirm your doubts, you should end it if you are comfortable with it. Relationships are there to make you happy, and if they cause more strife than comfort than you don't need to hold out. They arn't entitled to your time and affection