message into the void

hey, dad. it's me. i just wanted to say hi and tell you about my day. i passed my driving test with zero errors. i think i'm gonna be riding that high for a few days. i wish you were here to celebrate it with me. i know you would've wanted to go out for dinner, probably red robin because it's my favorite. i'm sorry i was so scared when you first tried to teach me how to drive. i know mom told you why, but i wish you never had to learn that. i'm so sorry that you felt the same thing so recently. i still can't believe you're gone. i keep thinking you're going to walk through the garage door after coming home from work or dinner with your buddy. i miss you so much. i miss your jokes and your cooking. i miss your purple shirt. i miss watching morning game shows with you. i miss making your breakfast. i miss going on walks with you. i miss hearing you tell the same stories over and over. we were supposed to have so much more time. we were supposed to take family pictures in the spring. we were supposed to go on vacation in march. we were supposed to share more laughs, tears, hugs, meals. we were supposed to have more time together. i can't imagine the rest of my life without you. i don't know who's going to teach me how to do an oil change or make mawmaw's potato salad or do my taxes. 

i guess i talked about a lot more than my day. i know you always said you were around to listen, no judgment or advice given. i wish i had taken you up on that offer more often. i hope you know how much i love you.