the golden corral rap

this is probably the best yet most strange youtube video subsubsubgenre i have ever encountered. i have clamored to share my experiences with these videos and now i finally have the chance. for whatever reason, there are at least 5 rap videos on youtube about popular buffet restaurant Golden Corral, 3 of which being titled the exact same thing: "golden corral rap". the most popular example of this phenomenon is the iconic video uploaded by youtube channel ibziggy22 on november 19th, 2008. the video runs for 1 minute and 9 seconds, and in that time, it shows why it is the most popular, being the most impressive of the golden corral raps. also, there is just some peculiar quality about this video that makes it incredibly amusing. the maximum quality of 240p, the lines that are said so vaguely that they become incomprehensible, the generic late 2000s hip hop beat. it all comes together to make a video that i would recommend to anyone wanting to change their life forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJKNcOE42lY

ibziggy22 uploaded a other videos over the years, but obviously none of them quite reached the popularity of this one, which is what i assume the reason is for their abrupt cease of uploads in 2011. judging by another video uploaded on their channel, i am pretty sure that the man behind this masterpieces rapper name was riq west. the video in question was for a song of theirs titled "im on" and judging by the picture in the video, it was meant to be part of an album titled "world on high". 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35JxP6NDisk

perhaps the golden corral rap would have been on this album too? honestly, the reason why they even made the golden corral rap in the first place is foggy. they seem to be wearing a uniform in the video, so was this part of some local commercial? or perhaps it was for a school project. neither of these scenarios are indicated by the video's description, which simply reads "a rap made for golden corral... its crazy awsome!!!" we will probably never know, considering ibziggy22 has not uploaded in 11 years, and riq west's album never released. quite a shame. but this is nowhere near where it ends.

the second golden corral rap was uploaded on august 15th, 2010 by youtube channel rasheena sears. this one is much shorter, clocking in at only 36 seconds. the video quality is higher, going all the way to 360p (so hd wow) but the audio quality is somehow worse. the instrumental is an incredibly simplistic tom drum rhythm that i honestly cant tell whether its prerecorded or if shes pressing the keys on some casio keyboard or something as she raps (probably the former). theres not even a snare or kick drum or any melody whatsoever. of course, the lyrics are themed after golden corral, with her visibly reading them off a sheet of paper. the description makes this video very confusing, reading "coco rapping to rashawn beat". after reading this, i notice that in the lyrics, she does identify herself as coco. so if coco is the one rapping and rashawn is the one who made the beat, who even is rasheena sears? is that cocos real name? why is that the channel name if she goes by coco? well, later in the channels lifespan she does have video titles where she used the name "sheena" so i guess it makes sense. like ibziggy22, she has not uploaded in about 11 years. it makes you wonder, did something happen specifically to all of these golden corral rappers? did the Golden Corral Rapture come and take only the most dedicated golden corral loyalists? a mystery for the ages.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XFN09JZ-Yk

the next golden corral rap was uploaded on august 30th, 2012 by youtube channel BRUNILLIE. i'm just now noticing that these 3 videos were uploaded in 2 year intervals. coincidence? i think yeah probably. anyways, this video is by far the poorest in quality out of all of them. the quality is 240p but it honestly looks more like 2p and the audio quality is absolutely terrible. the lyrics are mostly about golden corral i think, but he goes into several weird tangents about mental health and... male strippers? also theres no instrumental. sorry sir but how am i supposed to vibe to this when theres no beat and also you recorded it using a flip phone from 2002? well according to the description, supposedly "This video was uploaded from an Android phone." but unless microwaves run on android, i find that surprising. this one is definitely the strangest out of all the videos and just left me with an odd feeling. this guy stopped uploading 10 years ago. i guess the rapture got to him late.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI_6Em-Ncfg

this one was uploaded on december 22nd, 2013 by youtube channel Rowdy Doerr, breaking the 2 year interval cycle. this is the first one not to be simply titled "golden corral rap" instead being titled "Freestyle2013 Golden Corral Rowdy". this one is not even about golden corral, but it was in the title so im including it. its considerably longer than the rest of these videos, running for 3 minutes and 35 seconds. he takes off his shirt midway through. yeah thats really all there is to say. at least it has an instrumental. well actually he does mention golden corral once at the very end. this guy actually uploaded as recently as 1 year ago. i guess he really is a golden corral loyalist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt3QrXlZcFE

the final video i will be talking about today was uploaded on july 21st, 2016 by youtube channel Crystal Granec. this one doesn't even mention golden corral in the title at all, instead opting for the incredibly confident title of "Best rap song(share)". this one is special, as 2 people are rapping at the same time, a man and a woman who work at golden corral (this is proven by the opening lyric: "we love working at golden corral!" and the description which reads "Please subscribe if you like the song I made for working with Golden Corral.Just having fun!"). this video was recorded in knoxville tennessee, as stated in the opening. the woman, crystal, is the one who uploaded the video, and the man, jeff, is probably still working at a golden corral to this day (a fate worse than death). you can hear a lot of background sound even over the instrumental that is kinda too loud and drowns out their vocals a bit. this video just oozes awkward energy. jeff's expression looks like as if he is looking an otherworldly abomination dead in the eye, and who knows, maybe he is! near the end of the video, the audio messes up for whatever reason, and crystal hits a SICK dab.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9nDp5PzUS4

and with that, my semi-incoherent rambling about golden corral has ended. you may think i must be mentally ill for willingly writing like at least 8 paragraphs about golden corral (and i'd be inclined to agree) but this is a topic that HAD to be explored by someone. if you've read all of this, by all means, tell me about your favorite golden corral rap moments.