Life

It’s not that I’m not happy or I don’t love the friends I have but sometimes I want more. Not more friends per se but just more out of my friendships. I want to sneak out go driving together and shopping and roller skating go to Seven eleven. But I’m not close enough for most of my friends. And I just feel like an anoyying idot sometimes band I feel invisible a lot. I look around at everyone I’ve known since 6th grade and they all seem to have h th wit own groups and friends bc personalities but for me it seems like my personality is doing what ever I can to make my “friends” laugh. It’s like the more i try to fit in the more I get left out.and the morE i try to be myself I realize I don’t know who myself is. Everything about me was from somebody else from my handwriting to my humor. It also feels like shit seeing everyone you know being happy and included when you’re anything but and I do have a friend I can have fun with but it’s hard because soon I won’t have that either also we hang out very little.I’m pretty sure a lot of people think I’m dumb too like anytime I get some problem right they’re surprised and there was this one time in my act tutoring class and the teacher was supposed to me tutoring me be this girl ms he forgot bout me for the entire class so I sat there staring at the wall and I felt so invisible.( love u addy)