💜

My darling,

I don't know when, or even if, you'll see this. But I just feel this need to tell you how I feel from the bottom of my heart.

You are the light of my life.

I tell you this so often, but I mean it when I say it; I would be nothing without you. You are my biggest motivator in life, pushing me to get up and try my best every day.

But it's time to come clean about something.

I've been kind of holding back.

Ever since we began dating, there have been instances where there were things that I really, really wanted to tell you and say to you. And sometimes I do say them. But for the most part, I don't.

Why?

Because I'm scared you'll leave me because of it. Because it would make me sound obsessed. Possessive even, if you believe that. If I spoke what was truly on my mind, no matter how much love is in what I say, the only takeaway would be "this guy is a total weirdo/creep".

And I could see why. You know how my brain is, love. Always coming up with these tragic and almost nightmare-fuel ideas, either for art, music or stories in general, or unwillingly and, for the most part, unpleasant or against my better interest.

But as is often the case, over time those thoughts find their way out. So it's better to put them in a format like this other than in a far worse way.

Which brings me to what I've been wanting to say, all my thoughts, unfiltered.

I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than I could ever love myself. I love every second, every single moment, I spend with you.

My heart feels like it'll explode into tiny little shards every time I hear your voice. Every time I see you typing in the group chat. Every moment we spend together brings me more joy than you could ever imagine.

I would do anything to get to see you in person. To get to hold you in my arms the way I am forced to pretend to online, only to lie in bed that night, straining my neck as my head loses height from using those pillows to hug and to pretend that it's you.

I know we bicker and fight sometimes. I know we argue over small issues from time to time. But no matter what happens, I will always love you. I would tear my skin off as I crawl down road after road, traveling as far as this life would take me, and even then some, just to be with you.

I love you.

You are my everything.

And I pray that I'll have the privilege of calling myself the boyfriend of the most beautiful and handsome man I've ever met in my life for the rest of my life.

<3

- Angel